Miraculous Rewrite

Penalteam

Scene: Parc des Princes. The class chooses teams for soccer.

Kim: Hmm. I choose—Max!
(Max, along with Markov, goes over to Kim. Max grabs a yellow jersey)
Kim: Markov, who's gonna give me a 100% chance of winning?
Markov: Processing.
(Markov prints out a slip of paper with his answer, to which Kim takes and reads. But it's now the other team's turn to pick a player)
Marinette: Alya.
(Alya reluctantly walks to Marinette's side)
Kim: Oh no, Alya was Markov's pick.
Marinette: Hey, using Markov is cheating!
Kim: Well we're gonna need the best players if we're gonna win right?
Chloé: Miss Bustier? Why are we even doing this?
Miss Bustier: I specifically asked Mr. Didier to join us to teach you how to play together and develop some team spirit.
Mr. Didier: Yes, in soccer. What's important is not winning or losing, but enjoying yourselves by playing together. Together means not only with your teammates, but with everyone on the field.
Kim: And I really like playing with my opponents. Especially when we're crushing them.
Mr. Didier: Can you all think of ways to make teams more fair?
Alix: We can try girls against boys!
(Sabrina, Mylène, Rose, and Juleka pose behind Alix)
Kim: No way! We'd lose again!
Rose: I know! By alphabetical order of the names of our teddy bears!
Alya: Rose, you're the only one who still has a teddy bear.
Nino: You and Chloé.
Chloé: I'm sure there's one or two others who secretly have one.
Luka: Why don't we draw for it?
Rose: Oh yeah, that's a great idea!
(The rest of the class cheer. Miss Bustier and Mr. Didier nod at each other)

Scene: Outside Parc des Princes. Marc tries dragging Nathaniel into the arena.

Nathaniel: I don't see what's so great about running around chasing a ball, and what if I hurt my hand. I wouldn't be able to draw comics anymore.
Marc: Nath, you play soccer with your feet, your hands will be fine, and it's fun you'll see. Soccer is all about Bicycle kicks, Marseille turns, Rainbow kicks, and since you like stories so much just wait, a good game is full of exciting twists and turns. Like a good manga!
Nathaniel: Well, I'd still rather be working on our comic.
Marc: But you can't skip the class, don't you realize? Miss Bustier got Mr. Didier to come here! He's a legend in sports journalism, a real walking encyclopedia of soccer!
Nathaniel: Oh, come on Marc! Think of an excuse for me please? You're the writer after all. And that way you'll get to meet Mr. Didier.

Scene: Parc des Princes. Marc tries to come up with an excuse for Nathaniel.

Marc: And so...that's why he can't be here for this class.
Miss Bustier: That means we're missing a player.
Mr. Didier: Wouldn't you like to play?
Marc: Uh... No I...This isn't my class and I'm not all that good. (He looks down)
Mr. Didier: It's your call. Uh, mind passing me that ball over there before you go?
(Marc rolls the ball to himself, begins juggling it on his knees, and passes the ball to Mr. Didier)
Luka: You absolutely have to play!
(Marc looks at Mr. Didier, who smiles and winks. The two teams set up in their positions. The red team has Juleka playing goalie. Alya, Rose, and Alix are playing in defense. Marc and Marinette are midfielders and Sabrina is in the striker position. Among the yellow team is Chloé as goalie. Max, Adrien, and Mylène are their defenders. Nino and Ivan play as midfielders and Kim is the yellow team's striker. Luka stands on the sidelines, ready to sub in)
Mr. Didier: (Blows whistle)
(The yellow team starts the kickoff. Kim attempts to pass the ball to Nino, but Sabrina immediately takes possession and begins running towards the yellow team's goal.  She's about to shoot the ball into the goal, but Mylène takes possession of it)
Mylène: Sorry Sabrina. Go ahead Teddy Bear. (She passes the ball to Ivan)
Ivan: But I might hurt someone if I kick too hard or jostle them.
Rose: Sorry! (Rose steals the ball from Ivan and passes it to Marc)
(Marc receives the pass with his chest and passes it to Marinette in the air. It flies pass Kim and Nino)
Kim: Awesome!
(Marinette receives the pass with her knee and rolls it to the ground. She begins dribbling to the goal, but suddenly stops once she comes across Adrien. She trips over the ball and falls)
Marinette: Agh!
Nino: Dude quick, pass it! (He runs pass Adrien)
(Adrien picks up the ball with his hands and throws it to Nino, who then frowns)
Mr. Didier: (Blows whistle) Handball! Like my friend Andrea said: "Football is played with the head. Your feet are just the tools." But yeah, only the goalie can touch the ball with their hands.
Adrien: Oh, sorry, I'm not that familiar with the rules.
(Nino facepalms. Alya places the ball in the spot for a free kick. She is about to kick the ball, but instead, Marinette starts wailing and crying)
Marinette: Ow ow ow ow ow! My ankle!
Miss Bustier: Are you ok, Marinette?
Marinette: I-I think so... Ow!
Miss Bustier: Why don't you go sit with Lila on the bench. Luka, you can sub in for Marinette.
(Luka runs onto the field, joining the red team, as Marinette heads over to the bench. Alya gets back into position for the free kick, but passes to Luka, who shoots and scores)
Mr. Didier: Oh! Reminds me of my friend Michelle at '84.
Kim: Hey, Chloé, you're the one who's supposed to stop the ball!
Chloé: I'm sorry! I've never done this before; It just came so fast!
Sabrina: I can replace you if you want? I love being the goalie.
Alya: But you're not even on her team!
Nino: If we don't have a real goalie then it's a losing battle.
Chloé: I can be a real goalie!
Marinette: (from the bench) Hardly! You're more of a handicap than a goalie!
(Everyone turns and gives Marinette dirty looks)
Luka: Don't listen to her, Chloé; she doesn't know what she's talking about. Come on everyone, let's just get back to playing.
Mr. Didier: Nice job handling the situation. Luka, is it?
Luka: Yes. Thank you, sir.
(A frustrated Chloé tries to get her head back into the game, but her mind is clouded by fear and doubt)