Our Reality (Doki Doki Literature Club!)

The First's Perspective

I don't know really know why I was thinking about what happened last year. Maybe because of what happened at Adobansu or maybe it was because of what Claudette said last night about Shujinkou. I don't know, but it is pretty funny when you think about. Both are possibilities and they triggered a memory that kind of relates to both.

That was the first time I got to learn a little about him. Ignoring his own issues while showing concern for someone he didn't know that well back then. I think that's when I became a little interested in him. Little did I know that he's been doing that for a long time. I wonder what he was grieving about back then. I'm sure Sayori would know, but it never seemed right asking her that.

But despite what the reason was, he seems like he's trying his best to improve himself. That's probably another reason why we all like him.

I wonder if the others realized that he's captured all of our hearts even if that was the farthest possible accomplishment from his actual goal when he joined. I wonder he realized it himself. Though Shujinkou always had a tendency to self-depreciate, so that probably kept him from seeing it.

Sometimes I wonder what will happen if one of us did make a serious move on him. Would that fracture the bond we've built up through the first semester? Maybe that's what kept us from expressing our feelings. Or maybe it's doubt. Maybe we're afraid that he won't reciprocate any of our feelings. He treats everyone with an equal amount of respect so it's not like anyone can tell from that. But that's what makes him such a good friend.

Natsuki and Yuri are also trying their best to improve themselves. Natsuki no longer snaps at people in a defensive manner all the time like she used to and has an easier time conveying her feelings in a more positive manner. Yuri also felt more comfortable about conveying her own thoughts and opinions and is even giving a subject matter she derided in the past in a chance.

Sayori hasn't changed that much and that's a relief. She encouraging and gives us a push in the right direction whenever we need it. Sometimes I think she would be a better club president for that reason.

I also hope I can find more time to spend with Fuyu, Rei and Kiyoko. Fuyu seems busier than ever lately, so I was happy a chance came to join her for a presidential meeting. Rei seems mostly interested in interacting with Fuyu and Shujinkou so it may be a little hard getting to know her better. Kiyoko also seems like a free-spirited person. I can see why Shujinkou has an easier time talking to her.

Before the others, Claudette was my only friend. Though we're cousin, she's more like a big sister to me. It's going to be a bit lonely when she finished her visit. Though I wonder if she wants to visit Adobansu before leaving.

...

I really don't know what more to say. All the feelings I feel right now have been expressed in one form or another. There's been some ups and downs and some... embarrassing moments that the others won't let me live down, but I've had fun throughout the whole experience.

Sometimes I wonder if there it'll always last. I hope it will, but...

...

I just need to stay positive. I don't know what the future will bring, but I hope we can face it together. I don't even want to think about going it alone, because it's not like that anymore. It's not just me. It's not "Just Monika" anymore and I never want it to be again.

...

I don't really have that much more to add so I guess I'll just end with one message that conveys my emotion for you all:

"Love you." - Monika