In My Dreams - Bill Kaulitz Story

39. Goodbye

POV Elise

I woke up in the tour bus and realized we had arrived in Berlin. My heart started beating faster because I knew I would meet my mother today. Carefully, I woke up Bill as we couldn't afford to be late, considering he had a performance that evening.
"Bill, it's time to wake up," I whispered while gently shaking him. He opened his eyes and smiled sleepily at me.
"Hmm, good morning," he mumbled as he stretched.
"Good morning, Bill," I replied. "We need to get ready. We have a busy day ahead."
Bill nodded and got out of bed. Together, we began preparing for the day. My nerves grew with each passing moment closer to the meeting with my mother. Bill noticed my tension and took my hand.
"Don't worry, Elise," he reassured. "It'll be okay. I'm with you, and I'll support you."
Bill put on a simple pair of jeans and a nondescript T-shirt, along with a cap to hide his distinctive hair. He also wore sunglasses to ensure he wouldn't be immediately recognized when we went outside. His outfit was deliberately chosen to attract as little attention as possible.
My outfit was equally discreet. I opted for simple jeans and a plain long-sleeved blouse. To complete the look, I wore a light scarf casually wrapped around my neck. We didn't want to stand out too much and just wanted to calmly approach the meeting with my mother without drawing too much attention.
While in the kitchen of the tour bus, Bill grabbed a croissant for himself and offered me one too. However, my nerves made me feel queasy, and I couldn't take a bite. I politely thanked him and declined, hoping my stomach would calm down by the time we reached my mother's place. Bill smiled understandingly and ate his croissant.
David was waiting outside for us, as usual, with his phone in hand, busy arranging things. He saw us coming out and greeted us with a friendly smile. He had already arranged a taxi for us, as always well-prepared.
He turned to Bill and said, "You know the drill, Bill, make sure to be back on time." Bill nodded understandingly and thanked David for arranging the taxi.

We got into the waiting taxi, and I gave the driver the address of my mother's house. The taxi started moving, and nerves raced through my body as we headed to my childhood home.
As the taxi drove towards my childhood home, the ride remained silent. I noticed Bill looking outside, his thoughts probably with his own Elise and what he would say to her when they reunited. I turned my gaze outside and slowly began to recognize the neighborhood. The familiar streets and houses brought back memories of my childhood.
The taxi passed by the park where I often walked when things got too much for me. In silence, I whispered to Bill that we were almost there and pointed to a hotel just a few meters away from us. "That's where I work," I said softly. Bill nodded understandingly and asked the taxi driver to stop at the hotel.
He wanted to cover the rest of the way on foot. The taxi stopped, and Bill and I got out.
It was a short walk of about 10 minutes, the same route I took every day from work to home. We still walked in silence next to each other, but the silence was filled with unspoken feelings. Occasionally, our gazes met, and I could see in Bill's eyes that he would miss me too. Every step closer to my home made me feel sicker with doubt. Should I stop and turn around? Honestly express my feelings for Bill and stay in this world? Or should I go back to my mother, who truly needed me? Yes, I had to go back to my mother.
I saw my house in the distance, a row house with many memories. I pointed to the house and said to Bill, "There's where I live." Our pace slowed, and we stopped a few meters from my house.
We turned to face each other. "Elise," Bill began as he looked deep into my eyes. "Are you sure you don't want to stay here?" I sighed because, in reality, I would prefer to stay with him, but that wasn't an option. My decision was firm; I had to go back home. "Bill, my decision is final; I have to go back home," I said. He took my hand, and the romantic tension between us was palpable.
Bill leaned in gently, his lips trembling slightly in anticipation of a kiss. My heart pounded heavily, but I knew I couldn't allow this kiss. In less than five minutes, I would be back in my own world, and if I kissed Bill now, my heart would be irreparably broken. I couldn't afford it, and I didn't want to expose myself to so much pain.
"I can't, Bill," I whispered with a lump in my throat. I placed my fingertips on his lips, feeling them slightly quiver. He opened his eyes and stared deeply into mine. His eyes were filled with disappointment and desire, and his gaze begged me to change my mind, but I had to be steadfast.
He nodded understandingly, unable to find words. I so desperately wanted to say that I also wanted to, that I didn't want to leave him, but I couldn't. It was too late for us.
Instead, I hugged him tightly, and we stood in each other's arms for a few minutes, as if unable to let go. My tears started to flow, and I could feel his cheek getting wet from my tears. "Thank you for everything you've done for me, Bill," I sobbed, my words choked by my emotions.
Eventually, I had to gently pull away from his embrace. We looked at each other one last time, our gazes filled with love and sadness. I brought my lips to his cheek and pressed a soft, loving kiss. "Goodbye, Bill," I whispered. "I wish you all the best."
With a broken heart, I turned around and walked towards my house, my decision determined but my heart heavy.