In My Dreams - Bill Kaulitz Story

64. Break up talk

POV Bill

The door fell shut with a dull thud behind me, and I found myself in the hotel corridor. David was already there, still on his phone, gesturing for me to follow him. My feet moved heavily as I distanced myself with every step from Elise, from the girl I loved. The corridor seemed endless and cold, starkly contrasting the warmth and comfort I had always felt with her.
I should never have forced Elise to say she loved me too. She had warned me enough not to fall in love, but I had cornered her and compelled her to reveal her feelings for me. I wanted to go back to David's hotel room, grab Elise, and tell her I was sorry. I would damn well never let her go again.
David looked at me intently as I walked slowly toward him. He ended his phone call and gave me a questioning look. "Are you okay, Bill?" he asked with a certain concern in his voice. I wanted to say a million things, explain how I felt, but before I could, David continued with his instructions. He seemed determined to swiftly handle this matter.
"We're heading to the lobby," David began as he walked ahead of me, "the rest of the band is waiting there. You'll need to tell them about your breakup with Elise right away." His words slowly sank in, and I felt the weight of the task ahead of me.
David continued his briefing. "After that, I expect you to mention during the interviews that you and Elise have split up and that you haven't found the right one yet." His tone was businesslike, leaving no room for discussion. He clearly wanted me to stick to this message for the public, further reminding me that my relationship with Elise was now officially over.
"For the fans, it's for the best," David concluded with a sigh.
Yet, something gnawed at me as my thoughts wandered through the corridors. Elise had never told me about the contract the original Elise had signed, the one that obligated her to pretend to be in love with me. She knew about it, and yet she seemed to have confided in Bas. But why Bas? Why had she shared her secrets with him and not with me?
That question continued to flow through my mind like poison. Had I truly been so blind to the truth? Had Elise never really cared for me? Every time we were together, I felt the love and passion between us. The spark was real, but maybe it was just a product of my own imagination. Perhaps all of this was just a big lie, and I could barely bear the pain of that thought.
"Do you understand?" David interrupted my thoughts. I nodded obediently, but inside, my heart was breaking. It felt like I was sacrificing my love for Elise for the outside world, and it felt terrible. Tears burned in my eyes, but I forced myself to hold them back as we continued walking toward the lobby, where my bandmates awaited me.

Arriving in the lobby, I saw the rest of the band already prepared to leave for the award show. The moment to share the news of my breakup with Elise was inevitable. Georg had eagerly approached us, grinning widely, and asked, "David, are we going to the afterparty afterward?" David nodded to Georg.
David looked at me with a significant glance, a silent cue that it was time to share the news. I felt the weight of the words I had to speak press on my shoulders, but I knew it could no longer be delayed.
I cleared my throat, and the band members turned to me with surprise as I hesitated, "Hey guys, Elise and I have broken up." My voice was heavy with emotion, and I saw the shock and confusion in Tom, Georg, and Gustav's eyes. They were clearly taken aback by this unexpected news.
But I couldn't bear to talk about it further; my heart was broken, and the wounds were still fresh. I didn't want them to ask about the details of our breakup. "I don't want to talk about it," I concluded, and David nodded in agreement, giving me a significant look that we needed to hurry to the tour bus.
As we headed toward the tour bus, Georg walked alongside me and whispered, "Bill, what's going on?" However, my mood wasn't too great, and the emotions inside me were still boiling. I almost snapped at him immediately with the words, "I said I don't want to talk about it."
Georg slowed his pace and rejoined the rest of the group, while I walked to the tour bus and settled into the seat by the window. I put on my headphones to hear the music as loudly as possible, trying to escape the tumultuous emotions and awkward silence. The bus engine roared to life, and we departed for the award show, hoping that this nightmare would be over soon.