𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝗼𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐢𝗺𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

5 ❁ 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘣𝘺𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘯

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𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 @𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗲𝘇𝗶𝗯𝗲𝗹
"𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑖𝑡 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ"
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I sat on Corbyn's couch, staring at the wall with a blank mind.
Usually, my mind is overflowing with thoughts, but right now, my mind was completely and totally blank. There wasn't a thought in my head.
Corbyn walked into the room and handed me a cup of tea, frowning down at me.
He sat down and pulled me close to him, the only thing separating our bodies being the thick blanket Corbyn had wrapped around my body.
"What the hell happened out there?" he asked.
I slowly turned to look at him, any emotion I had fading away.
"I...I can't even comprehend anything right now."
"What do you mean? What happened?" he asked again.
"I've loved him for five years. Five fucking years. I put my heart and soul into every single word I said to him. I loved him with everything I had. And he took my love and threw it aside like it was something that's easy to get. Maybe it is easy for him to find people that will love him unconditionally, but for me, it's extremely difficult. I have never loved someone the way I love him. I don't even know how to feel right now. Honestly, I don't feel anything. I feel numb. I feel dead inside. Normal people ask 'why does it hurt so much', but I'm not hurting at all. I can't feel anything."
I stared straight ahead the whole time I talked, not wanting to see any type of reaction from Corbyn.
After what felt like an eternity, I looked at COrbyn.
I was shocked by what I saw.
There were tears welled up in his eyes and he looked like someone had just ripped his heart out of his chest and then shattered it to pieces.
"What?" I asked, confused by his reaction.
"That breaks my heart, hearing you say that. You of all people don't deserve to be robbed of your own emotions. I just can't believe that someone was able to break you like this."
"I think it's better this way. If I don't have emotions, then I don't have to feel the pain that I would normally feel. It's a miracle, woo hoo!" I fake cheered.
"Stop. Don't say that. I have known you all my life and since the day I met you, I have cared about you more than anything else in the whole world. I'm not going to let you go down this terrible path. You deserve so much better than him."
"It doesn't matter what I deserve anymore. I don't think I'm ever going to be able love again, which sucks, but life sucks, so whatever."
I stood up from the couch, letting the blanket slip off of my shoulders.
"What are you doing? I'm not going to let you leave." Corbyn said, sternly.
I turned to him and just looked at him, longing for him to wrap his arms around me, even though it wouldn't change a thing.
"Why?" I asked.
If I left right now and never came back, how much would he really care? Sure it would hurt him, but over time, he would forget me and move on with his life. I didn't matter that much. I never mattered that much, not to anyone.
"Because when you love someone, you do everything in your power to make sure that they are okay. I'm not going to let you go down that dark road. I'm not going to watch you spiral downwards. And I'm sure as hell not going to let you be lonely for the rest of your life. If you would just let me, I could teach you how to love again. I promise you that."
I froze, feeling overwhelmed.
"What?" I asked, tears finally forming in my eyes.
"I love you," he whispered, a tear escaping his eye.
"How long?"
"Since the day I met you. I've always been in love with you, but when you met him, I knew the best thing to do for you was to let you go. So I did. I let you go. But I don't think I'm capable of doing that this time around."
"Then don't."
Corbyn didn't waste a single second. He grabbed me and kissed me hard. Even though I was broken, I felt about a million different emotions in that one single kiss.
Corbyn could do that. He could make you feel like you're flying on top of the world from just one kiss.
Which is exactly why I love him.

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𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗱 - 2/12/20
𝑖 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢
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