𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ★ 𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐊𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐳

2

⚠️tw abuse and mention of self harm⚠️

I opened my eyes. I looked over at Bill who was peacefully sleeping on the couch next to me. "Shit" I said loudly. I looked at the clock. 7:23 p.m. "Oh no." I thought to myself.

"Bill, Bill wake up." he opened his eyes while I shook his shoulders. "WHAT!" he literally yelled with a shocked look on his face and worry in his eyes.

"I was supposed to be home 25 minutes ago." I said while tearing up.

"SHIT" he yelled again. "We fell asleep?! Oh no, Lin I'm so sorry." he hugged me tightly.

"It's ok it's not your fault. But I really need to go now tho." he nodded.

We ran upstairs taking all of my stuff. "I think that's all." I looked around the room again. "Yeah and if not I'll bring it to you tomorrow."

"Thank you Bill for today it was nice spending time with you." I smiled at him while putting my jacket on. "I should thank you LinLin." he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"See you tomorrow." he waved from the door as I was leaving. I waved back. "And if you need anything just text me!" i gave him thumbs up and walked away.

It was February and it was already dark outside. It was around 7:40p.m. right now. I felt the cold air on my face. I was almost running I didn't wanted to be even more late.

The walk took me like 3 minutes. I was now standing in front of our door. It wasn't locked so I just opened them. I took of my shoes and walked to the kitchen.

"Where the fuck were you! You are fucking 45 minutes late you whore!" my father yelled at me. "I'm sorry father I fell asleep."

"Fell asleep, huh?" he grinned. "So you don't get enough sleep at home?! Well I'll make you sleep forever if that happens one more time." and with that he walked up to me.

I could smell all the alcohol and cigarettes from him. He was about to hit me. "Don't fucking touch me!" I yelled at him.

I looked him deep in his eyes and saw the anger in them.

"What did you just fucking say!? YOU WILL REGRET THAT YOU SLUT!" he grabbed my hand and dragged me from the living room.

He threw me on the floor. I fell to the ground as tears were falling down my face.

"Pease don't hurt me!" I kept crying. "Then you should watch your words next time! You fat useless bitch!" he kicked me back making me fall on my back.

I groaned as I felt the pain in my arm. "Get up! I don't want to see you again tonight!" with that he walked away.

I ran upstairs to my room and locked it behind me. Tears were pouring down my face as i cried silently to the pillow.

I thought about texting Bill but then I remembered that he doesn't know how my father acts when he's drunk. He only knows he drinks. And i like to keep it that way.

I managed to calm myself down a bit. I went to my bathroom and took off my hoodie. I saw a bruise on my hand from the dragging earlier.

My eyes went down my arm and stopped at the scars and cuts on my wrists. They weren't deep just cuts.

No one knows about them. Not even Bill. Only me. I'm ashamed of then but I can't stop hurting myself.

It's like a relief for me from all the thoughts and problems. At the moment you feel only the pain and enjoy it.

I started with sh like a month ago when i was at my lowest point. I didn't know what to do anymore and it became an addiction.

I didn't feel like hurting myself tonight tho. I want to stop so bad but it's just so hard.

I always make sure not to go to far.

I sighed as i got undressed. I hopped into the shower and let the warm water pour down my body.

I washed myself and my hair. I put conditioner in my hair. I stayed in the shower for another 10 minutes before i got out.

When i got out I cleaned my cuts from yesterday and put bandage over it for night. Then i took lotion that smells like vanilla and coconut. I love smelling good so much.

I brushed my teeth and did my skincare. I didn't even bother to eat. I knew I couldn't go downstairs. Besides, I wasn't even hungry.

I looked at the bruise. It was huge and ugly. It hurts a bit when i move my arm. It was on my left hand.

I got worried since I have to play the guitar and we have practice in two days. I hope it'll be good by then.

I put on my pajama and laid down to my bed. I still felt the bruise hurting. I turned around and looked at the picture on our family on my bedside table.

On the right side was father, next to him was my sister, then me and on the left was my mom. We were all so happy. Gosh i miss mom so much.

I started crying again. I turned the light off. It was around 9 p.m. now. I was really tired. I cuddled to my teddy bear i got from Tom for my birthday and tried to fall asleep.

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Author's note:
Damn.. that's kind of deep I didn't know i can write stuff like this😰
don't forget to vote❣️

952 words