𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ★ 𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐊𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐳

43

!emotional!

The car ride felt long almost like it should never end. I was just playing with my hands not really paying attention to what is happening in the car.

I was just starting at one place thinking about how should i tell Tom. I can't just say "so yea I want to off myself."

But i know Tom will understand. He always did.

When we arrived at the Kaulitz house i got out immediately after Bill. We waved a goodbye to Georg and Gustav.

As soon as they opened the door i ran to Tom's room waiting for him to come. I wanted it to be over as soon as possible.
_____________________

Lin ran up the stairs and closed the door behind her I could hear that. I was really worried about what would she tell me. Did i do something wrong?

Bill put his hand on my shoulder "Tom you should go after her."

"Bill I'm scared." i said looking at him.

"Don't be. Please maybe she needs your help. Just go." he smiled and i sighed.

I took a deep breath in and out. I gave Bill one last look before going upstairs.

I opened the door slowly and then closed it after me. She was sitting at the bed with her chin rested on her knees and she was playing with her toes.

I sat next to her. She was quite I think she was trying to figure something out. I couldn't help but speak.

"Lin i know there is something wrong. I know you really well and i can see it. Please just let me know what's wrong. I want to help you. I love you.." i said turning to her.

As soon as my eyes met hers she immediately looked away. "That's the problem Tom." she said slowly sounding extremely sad as she was about to cry.

Her words touched my heart. What does she mean? "Did i do something to upset you? I'm sorry I don't understand." I tried to stay as calm as possible. I need to be the strong one now.

She looked at me with glossy eyes. "Tom it's not your fault." and with that she hugged me tightly. I hugged her back still confused.

"Tom i love you so much. Words can't even express the love i have for you. But I can't let you love me Tom. I just can't. I don't want to hurt you even more than I probably will. Just don't love me.. please.." she said sniffing.

She was about to have a break down but she handled it pretty well.

I was so confused by her words. I was happy she loves me back but what does she mean by hurting me.

She breathed in and out to keep calm as I rubbed her back. I didn't know what to say. Fortunately she continued.

"I don't know how long I'll manage to stay here. I don't know for how long i can handle all the pain. And if you will love me loosing me would hurt you even more. Love someone else Tom.." at this point she was shaking and crying so hard.

Her words shattered my heart into million peaces. I knew i had to be strong but I couldn't be.

"Lin please.. don't leave. We can do this together I promise. I'll be here every second with you. Everything will be alright just give it a chance.." I managed to say.

She broke the hug to look at me.

"I don't feel like it's worth it. I'm so drained Tom. I feel so much mental pain I'm so full of it that i need to vent it out by hurting myself physically." she cried and rolled her sleeves up as well as her pants and took off her socks.

I saw her cuts. They were new and deep. I started crying even more. "Lin why..?" i asked. I still didn't know why she does that.

She covered them again. "Honestly Tom I'm not even sure. Ever since my mom died my father has beed abusive. I felt so miserable and cutting was a way of relief. It makes me feel so satisfied."

I just looked at her. She continued. "My problems would bring a lot of issues to our relationship Tom. It won't work." she finally said and broke down.

I immediately took her to my arms. "Lin I want to help you. I want to save you like you saved me and Bill. I know it's really hard but you're strong and you can make it through. It's definitely worth it. Please stay here for me.." my voice was cracking so much.

"Please give it a try. I'll do anything. I can't loose you. I need you in my life. Just.. just let me love you Lin." i cried out.

I felt even more sad then when i was opening up to Bill. I want to save her. I love her. My heart was aching but i knew the last thing she wanted to do was make me upset. I have to be the strong one.
____________________

I was thinking about everything Tom said. Maybe his love could save me. Maybe he was the one to come and rescue me.

I really want to live a happy life. I don't want to die. But at the same time i have no energy and no point of living.

But maybe I'm all wrong. If i won't give it a chance and just end it all it would be stupid. I live only once. I'm only 17.
________________________

I slowly rubbed her back until she calmed down. She looked at me with her teary eyes. She kissed my lips softly and rested her forehead on mine.

"I'll try Tom. I'll let you love me.." she said slowly but truly.

"Thank you Lin. I'm so proud of you. We can do this together." i smiled agains her lips before giving her a soft gentle kiss.

My heart was still hurting but her words are making it better again.

"Lets take some rest." i laid her on the bed and then i laid next to her. She snuggled in my chest and I covered us with blanket.

"Thank you Tom. I feel better knowing I finally told someone. It isn't all only in my head now but i said it out loud." she spoked.

"I'm more than happy that you opened up to me. Now you're not alone I'll alway be here." i kissed her forehead lightly.

"I love you Tommy."

"I love you more."
____________________
Author's note:
I had a whole breakdown writing this😃✌️

1108 words