☆Ranked #2 in Entertainment on 5/14/18☆
☆Ranked #92 in Highschool on 6/8/18☆
Freshmen-Junior Year:
"You and your lames need to get the fuck up from this table"..."You guys will never be shit"..."Aww, she is about to cry, who cares".
Since...
I walk into my closet to decide what I'm going to wear. I could go sexy to change his mind or go normal to prepare myself. I decide on something in the middle. A white tank I would usually sleep in with some patterned boy shorts.
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When I walk out, Tyler is sitting on the bed with his shoes off. I climb over the bed and sit in front of him. "I'm ready." I cross my legs and lean against my headboard.
"Ok, the whole Bryce thing really pisses me off. It took everything in me to not go to his house and fight him. However, it was partially on you for even kissing him. What the fuck was that Lia?" I bring my legs to my chest and hope I don't start crying.
"I honestly don't know Tyler. At that time, I still had this sort of attraction towards Bryce, but I don't have it anymore. He also told me about Mike's Snapchat video and maybe that's why we kissed. Listen, thinking about it any further is not going to fix anything. I fucked up by kissing him and I'm sorry." I see my vision blur and I know tears are on the verge of falling.
"I know, I know. Lia, you are driving me crazy. Your relationship with Bryce drives me crazy. However, I can't stop thinking about you. Did you mean what you said at my house?" Tyler moves closer to me and my body immediately warms up.
"I said a lot Tyler and I meant it all. Even the part that you are specifically asking me about. Those were the scariest words I've ever said." I have a sense that he won't say what I want him to say. It's either because he doesn't feel it, or he's afraid, like me.
"You're not the only one scared Lia. After Rebecca, it's taking me a while to fully give myself to someone. And then I find out that you and Bryce were still doing stuff after you told me you were friends." Tyler pauses and runs his hand through his hair.
I already feel vulnerable after my speech this morning. Now, he is just making me feel so much worse. I know that I did something terrible, but I'm not going to sit here after this very long day and be attacked.
"Tyler, I know I'm a terrible person and I don't need you to tell me that." I wipe the few tears dropping from my eyes. "I've had a really shitty day and I just want to go to sleep. So, are you staying or not because we can talk about this in the morning." I get off the bed and go to the bathroom to wash my face.
"I didn't say that Lia. You're not a terrible person. We all make mistakes." Tyler gets up and follows me to the bathroom.
"That's just it, are you going to forgive my mistakes or not. I told you that I loved you because I meant it. I know what I want Tyler and it's you. Yes, maybe I fucked that up with Bryce. I realize that, but this conversation isn't going anywhere if you are going to hold that over me. That's why I said you needed time because with you standing here right now is hurting me. Seeing you right here, disgusted with me is worse than having you ignore me." I clean my tears and makeup off with a makeup wipe.
I try to walk out the bathroom, but Tyler's figure blocks me. When I look in his eyes, I can't tell what he is feeling. "I can't take anymore tonight Tyler," I say pulling my hair into a bun.
