The Comeback Season

|chapter seventy-eight|

Almost a month later

I lay in my bed looking at my ceiling on this Friday morning. The coolness from my AC runs over my exposed skin. I can't stop my mind from running. However, I say a slient prayer because I don't have to go to work today, so I decide to skip school too.

The judge sentenced Mike to 2 months in jail. He can be released early for good behavior, which I'm sure he will be. The judge also sentenced him to 6 months probation. Mike actually wrote me a letter when we met back in court. He told me he was sorry about what he did recently. He didn't mention what happened during the sophomore year, but I didn't expect him too. I was caught off guard when he started crying. I couldn't tell you if he was being sincere or not.

Coco and I haven't talked since my secret came out. I told Nova and Reid to focus on spending more time with her, so I haven't seen them either, outside of school.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm a terrible person. I let my best friend date the guy who assaulted me. I can't figure out my feelings about Tyler. I have a strong sense of wanting him, but Rebecca is still there. I'm unclear about my relationship with Bryce. There are still fixed feelings there, but I will never act on them, because of Tyler. 

Is this all worth it?

I grab my ringing cell phone off the nightstand. I hesitate when I see Bryce's name flashing on the screen. "Hello."

"Hey, Cahlia. How are you doing?

Bryce has been calling me at least once a week to check on me. I know he is trying to be sweet and truly cares about me, but I have feelings about myself that he can't fix. "Umm, I'm fine. I have my doctor's appointment today."

I will admit that Bryce was one of the individuals who convinced me to give counseling a try. After many 'it might help' and  'I just want you to get better' texts, I finally told him that I'll go.  "That's great, Lia. I know you're not very fond of her, but give her try. Also, call me if you need anything." I promise to do that and smile as I hang up the phone. I've never noticed Bryce's affectionate nature, but I can't deny that I don't like it.

I scroll through my text and see one from Cayden.

👨‍👧  Cay 👨‍👧:: Lia, your counseling appointment is at 10 am. I'll come by to pick you up.

I have been staring at this ceiling since 7 am. Maybe a shower will give me some much-needed energy. I struggle out of bed and into the shower. I throw on a pair of grey sweatpants and a black sweatshirt. Right when I get dressed, Cayden arrives.

This is my fourth appointment with my counselor, Jane. When I first met her, I wasn't a big fan. I didn't like how soft-spoken she was. She talked to me a little bit like a child. I discovered that we just needed to grow more comfortable with each other. She made me open up about the assault and my dad's death. It took a while, but I'm starting to like her.

"I'll be right here when you're ready." I give Cayden a small smile before walking to the back with Jane. I sit down on Jane's couch across from her chair. "How are you doing today, Cahlia?"

I play with my fingers. "I could be better." Jane talks about me suffering from depression. She doesn't think it's severe enough that I need medication, however. I did feel extremely sad until I started talking it out with her. I feel like I am making progress. I used to just grab a drink, but I like talking my problems out.

My appointment with Jane lasts for an hour. "Are you hungry?" I give my brother a small nod.

We sit in our usual booth at Stone's Dinner. I order my usual bacon cheeseburger with a vanilla milkshake. I sip on my milkshake and take small bites out of my burger. "Do you think I'm a bad person, Cay?"