the hated child

chapter two

"Good morning dearest stepmother, I happened to feel quite upset after your harsh comments, so I decided the best course of action would be to devour a fairly large encyclopedia. I am currently using 100% of my brain," Mistake said very very very very very very very very very proudly.

"HmM... RONNY MCDONNY COME HERE!!!" Barbara yelled. "LET'S SEE IF THE MISTAKE IS SMART NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! (which she's not, ew)"

"What's 69,420 x 1?" asked Ronald McDonald.

"My dear sister Ronald McDonald, I believe that the answer is incredibly obvious and simple. Something with even the lowest brainpower, a ZYGOTE, could solve it in less than a second!" Mistake said.

"What's the answer?"

"If my calculations are correct, which they always are, the product of this incredibly easy equation is 69,696!"

"69,696..." says the stepmother named Barbara.

Everyone was silent, even the crowd of people staring into their windows. Especially them. Not even a pin drop could be heard, because there were no pins... Ronald McDonald ate them all.

"Dumbass," said Ronald McDonald, "The answer's clearly 57 and a half!"

Mistake looked confused. "But... my calculations are right! They always are!!!! WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!"

"You must learn that I control this world, anything I say is right is right. I say you're a dumbass, so you're a dumbass," said Ronald McDonald with their hands in the air while levitating.

Suddenly Levitating by Dula Peep started playing. "You met me at the best time if you felt the need for company!!!"

Everyone looked over and saw Gerald with a boombox. "SHUT UP GERALD," said everyone on Earth, because no one likes Gerald. Sorry Gerald...

"Once a dumbass, always a dumbass," chanted everyone watching them.

Mistake suddenly felt inferior to Ronald McDonald and wanted to do something about it. After 10 years of thinking, she finally decided to make her own fast food chain. It was called...
✨McYeehaws✨.

It was a success! Every Sad Meal (the competitor of the Happy Meal) came with a news article, written by Mistake herself, about why McDonald's sucks. There were plenty of people coming to her restaurant just to read them!

Dearie me goodness gracious great heavens! This company is simply incredible! My dear sister Ronald McDonald will surely be inferior to me now! I shall become everybody's favourite person and the princess and proceed to execute my family like Cinderella did! ...Wait, did Cinderella kill her family? Doesn't matter. I shall change my story, Mistake thought.

Sadly, none of the customers matched the age demographic of McDonald's... Only senior citizens were playing in the Sad Playground with the Sad Puddles of Pee while eating their Sad Meals.

"Why, this McYeehaw's is quite a successful business, if I do say so myself!!!!!!" Mistake said, smiling.

"Ew, no," Barbara scoffed. "It's sad and the food tastes like poopoo."

"Well too bad!" Mistake yelled. "It's successful!!!!"

McYeehaws goes out of business the following week