the hated child

chapter eighty-three

"GASP!!!" gasped Mistake with a gasp. "DAD??"

"Yes, it's me," Mr. Maid said as he descended from the heavens.

"DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT???"

"Well, this family does have a tendency to do things that some may consider... god-like!" Mr. MAID said. "So, don't ask."

"Well, weren't you JUST roaming outside the school with Accident? Also, WHERE IS ACCIDENT?? I WASN'T IN THE SCHOOL FOR LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO KILL HIM."

"Was I? Dear me... um, I don't know where Accident is. I mean, we were just talking with some of your teachers — lovely people — and then I just... felt like I needed you to hear my words. Well, word, singular. So I rose up to fly among the clouds!"

"My teachers? WHERE ARE THEY???"

"Under the school! Didn't you hear?"

"I was too busy killing my classmates and creating a harem. By the way, meet Shed and Whiteboy!"

"Wow! What fine, distinguished gentlemen!" Mr. MAID said, ignoring the fact that WhiteBoy and Shed were definitely UNfine and INdistinguished UNgentle men.

Whiteboy walked towards Mr. Maid and offered his hand to the man. "Why hello sir!" He then began to strip.

"Hello, young man!" Mr. MAID said. "What species are you? Thirst trap TikToker?"

"He's a Straight-Boy-Thirst-Trapper," said Mistake. "They do have a lot of overlap, that's true."

"Oh my! No wonder why you're such a handsome little thing! By the look of your leather pants, it's not very little! You're such a handsome BIG thing!!"

Red and purple LEDs appeared around WhiteBoy as he smirked and poured oil on his defined abs. "Thanks," he ASMR-whispered.

"No problem!"

Shed was staring at Whiteboy's abs, his eyeballs popping out of his head and making the boingoingoing noise.

"Dadddd! You can't steal my boyfriends AGAIN. Come on, let's go find our teachers!"

"Again...?" Shed said.

"No time to explain!" Mistake said, heading outside to look for the secret staircase to under the school.

"Let's just say, I like to collect them all!" Mr. Maid winked and bit both his lips.

"Shh! Vamanos!" Mistake said like Dora the explorer, "Hmmm... Where is the door to the cave? Is it this suspicious entrance to a cave, the broken window on the 18th floor, or is it this random pebble with a ladybug on it?"

Mr. Maid scratched his chin as he pondered the answer. "Hmm, it's probably the random pebble! You know how David is a fairy princess; he can probably make other people small too! Plus, it's extra secretive and inconspicuous!!"

Whiteboy shrugged. "He was the one who found it after all!" He then took his shirt off, poured a can of coke all over his hot and steaming chest, tied a flannel button up around his teensy weensy and elegant waist, slapped both his legs like Regina George, and started kicking the shit out of the pebble and stomping on it.