the hated child

chapter eighty-eight

Shed looked over towards Whiteboy. "I hope we don't have to watch our teachers take their clothes off and show their pepperoni nipples to their students... Just like you... I also hope they don't go into heat... Just like you..."

"THAT WASN'T MY FAULTTTTT! I CAN'T CONTROL MY TRANSFORMATION FORM. IT'S REALLY UNSTABLE AND IS CONSTANTLY HORNY!!!"

Suddenly, fluffy hairs swirled around Simon.

"WOAH!!!! IS HE GONNA BE A FURRY???"

Loud cries were heard from the hairy tornado.

"Oh no... Do you think he's hurt? Replacing your skin with a fur suit would probably be painful..." Gerry stated.

Dogs began flying around with casts and crutches.

"Oh no... MISTAKE! ON PURPOSE! STAND BACK. THIS CREATURE HATES DOGS, INCLUDING WILD DOGS..."

"Uh oh..." Mistake whispered. "What is he?"

The tornado grew in size and more dogs began to fly, each having less fur than the next.

"Mr. Simon is a..."

"GRAHHHHHHHH!!!!" Suddenly, two massive claws RIPPED the tornado in half (somehow) and revealed a BIG AND GIANT CAT WITH AN UNEXPLAINED HATRED FOR DOGS!!!

"AHHHHH!!!!" screamed Gerry. "HE'S A BIG AND GIANT CAT WITH AN UNEXPLAINED HATRED FOR DOGS!!!! UNCOMMON!!!"

On Purpose began to approach the beast, even though she was instructed not to. "Now now Simon... It's ok! Dogs aren't THAT bad!!"

She then got whipped around the entire planet 60 times from a single flick of a paw.

She finally crash-landed in the same place she was before and hit the ground with an oof.

"Me: Cat. You: Dog. Me hate dog. Dog start with D. Die start with D. You: Dog. Die." He paused, then added, "Meow."

Mistake couldn't move, petrified in fear. Then she tapped into her instinct to conform with the most powerful group of people, which were currently the cats.

"Ugh... where's WhiteBoy's cat maid outfit when you need it..." she grumbled.

"MEOW! 👹🔥"

Mistake waved her arms frantically. "WAIT WAIT WAIT!! I CAN MEOW TOO! Meeaur!!!!"

"... Meeaur? 🛩"

"NO! BAD CAT! NO RECREATING 9/11!"

"... Meur Mew Meoro? 🛩🛩🏢🏢"

"NO! NO!!!! UHHH... MUEEEYAOWUH!" Mistake shouted.

"Ah... Mueeeyaowuh! 🧊⛴️🌹🚪Leonardo DiCaprio. 😵"

"Did. Did you just say the words Leonardo DiCaprio."

"Mmmmm... Meow. Nuh uh. 🤓☝️"

Mistake turned around to face the others. "Can – can you guys hear that?"

Everyone but Mistake formed a circle and began whispering. Shortly after, they turned to face Mistake.

"Ummm... Do you have an answer?"

"Woof."

"MEAAOW?!??!?!?!?!?@?@?@?@?@?@?@?@?@?@?!?!??!!??!?! 🐱🔪🤬"

"GUYS. WHAT WAS THAT FOR???"

"Testing something," said Shed. "Don't worry about it."

"WELL NOW THAT YOU'VE SAID THAT, I'M WORRYING!!"

"We'll let you deal with your worries in peace!" On Purpose smiled and teleported everyone away, leaving Mistake with the big and giant cat with an unexplained hatred for dogs.

"Uh... hi," said Mistake nervously.

"Well... Meow then. 🥸🫳🧶💨🦵🤶"

"What?"

"It's time... For the knitting competition. Whoever makes the best and most impressive thing comes back to the group alive. Meow."

"But who kicked that ball of yarn to you???"

"Mrs. Claus, duh."

"OK so... All I have to do is learn how to knit and create a really cool and amazing project to stay alive? Seems simple enough..."

"Meow! 🚫🧶✅️🌱"

"No... no yarn, only plants?"

"Yea!"

"How am I supposed to knit with... leaves? And stuff?"

"Myerh. 😡 Meahr meyr mewberdoober. 🐱🔪👧🐶"

"M... mewberdoober... what?"

"Mewberdoober! 😵😵😵"

"... I DON'T WANNA MEWBERDOOBER!!!"

"Why not."

"Mewberdoobering is SCARY."

"How do you know? Have you ever experienced it?"

"Well, other versions of me have..."

"And how many people have you mewberdoobered?"

"I've lost count."

"Well, you're MEWBERDOOBERED TO ME."

"Teehee!!!! Well you're just (going to be) mewberdoobered!"

The giant cat jumped up into the sky while giggling. Mistake looked up and saw 2 gigantic cheeks charging at her.

"AHHHHHH!!!!" she screamed, quickly transforming into a massive dragon.

"HEY. WAIT A MINUTE. THIS IS TOO IMBALANCED. YOU'RE GOING TO MEWBERDOOBER ME IN 2 MILLISECONDS AT THIS POINT!"

"UGH. FINE." Mistake started transforming, but the cat interrupted.

"NO wait! I wanna look like a cool cat who defeated a dragon. I want it to go in every resume I have.

"Uh... so do you want me to be a dragon or not?"

"Yes."