the hated child

chapter sixty-one

Previously...

Granny Cwoisaint sat there, watching the 2 whisper to each other. Her eyes darted around the room as she began to sweat.

"Wspopsfwppfspwfsp Also, she implied that a proper lady wouldn't eat raw ground beef! Trolling is when you go AGAINST the norm. This means that she is such a troll!! Pswpdspfpwspfwfpapwfaspsefps"

"Ahhh..."

"Swpopsfwpsspwfapspwfpspsef AND, she's British! Britain is the BIGGEST troll because they're BRITISH!!!! Fpspwpswpfwspwfpspwfp"

Mistake nodded sagely. "That does make sense."

"Spwpsfepswpspwpspfpsfwfpwfw Exactly! Spwfpfwsswsfwfpswf"

They stopped whispering and turned back to Granny Cwoisaint.

"Granny, are you the troll?"

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Present Time

"W-what kind of question is that? How PREPOSTEROUS and DISRESPECTFUL!!! I'm offended that you would even CONSIDER THAT as an option."

"Mistake... Huddle back in..."

Mistake leaned into her fathers mouth.

"Pshpspwfspawpsawf She sounds like a very EXPERIENCED troll to me... Spdwppwfspppawsfp"

"How so?"

"Pwfpwfppwswpfs She disagreed so quickly, and she spoke in cursive... Spwfpfspspswpfs"

"Alright. Granny Cwoisant, do you want to play charades?" Mistake extended her finger.

"Why, I LOVE that game! But... why do you want to?"

"No particular reason, just feeling a bit bored. Be a welcoming host, why don't ya!"

"Hmmm... But what if I say no?"

"I'll give you a HORRIBLE google review!"

"You youngsters, always caring too much about the internet and their online presence. What about living in the REAL world for once?"

"Erm, actually," Mistake put on her about-to-correct-you voice, "the Internet is part of the real world now, since more than half of the Earth's population has access to it now."

"You young-uns need to learn from your elders... You don't need to be absolutely ADDICTED to your devices. You guys should just focus on buying your $25 house and become a factory for offspring, all while you're still a minor."

"Granny... Who hurt you? You know what'll help? A game of CHARADES!!"

"Ugh... After that insult? Even the middle aged in this world are uneducated... You have to RESPECT your elders!" She showered Mr. MAID and Mistake in saliva every time she uttered a word.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, EVEN THE MIDDLE AGED ARE UNEDUCATED???" Mr. MAID shouted. "I'M 50 (THOUSAND) AND MOST PEOPLE MY AGE ARE MUCH MUCH MORE EDUCATED THAN ME!!! AND IM SUUUUUPER EDUCATED!!!!"

Granny Cwoisaint sighed DEEPLY.

"I'm confused... are you going to play charades with us or not?" Mistake asked, her finger still extended.

"Maybe if you LEARN to RESPECT your ELDERS!!!"

"Yes, you've said that... already..." Mistake trailed off, too confused and annoyed to argue with an old woman.

Mr. MAID, however, was not so easily deterred.

"HEY! Granny Croissant, or whatever your name is! You are GOING to play charades with us! I'm dead, so you're not my elder! I'm FURTHER IN LIFE (DEATH) THAN YOU!"

"Still, I'm NOT interested in disrespectful elders!"

Mr. MAID lifted up his shirt, revealing his drawn-on six pack.

"What about I, a muscly elder?"

Granny Cwoisaint started fanning her face, struggling to breathe, heating up, and felt lightheaded.

"A-alright... As long as I get to caress them."

"NUH UH!! NUH UHHHH. NO TOUCHIE, ONLY LOOK!"

"What about lickie?"

"Dad, just let her do it, let me just..." Mistake used her angel powers to give her dad his dream body.

"OH YEA!!!" Mr. MAID began flexing his muscles and showing off his veiny limbs and- We'll stop there.

Granny Cwoisaint CHOMPED on her lip and drew hearts with her tongue.

"U-uh... I'm starting to regret the seduction route..."

"It's ALRIGHT!!! As long as I can solve this DUMB puzzle to find the DUMB person who revealed my presence to the school."

"I guess..."

Mistake smiled ear to ear. "Go on granny! Do whatever you want! Licking, biting, caressing, I don't care!"

The old woman growled, her eyes changed fonts.

"WOAH... I didn't know eyes could change fonts... that's crazy..."

"Well, I have to be able to disguise myself since I'm a tr- Nevermind!"

The father-daughter duo glanced over at each other.

Mr. MAID shouted, "GRANNY! COME AT ME!!!!'

Granny Cwoisaint pranced over to the king's body, thinking about what she should do first.

A lightbulb appeared over her head. "Ah... I know what I should do!"

"And what's that?"

"Surgery."