the hated child

chapter fifty-seven

Previously...

"WAIT!" Mistake exclaimed, "I THINK THIS RAW, SQUISHY, AND RED GROUND BEEF IS MY LEMONADE!!"

"AHHH! MISTAKE, YOU DID IT!!!" Mr. Maid picked up his daughter and spun her around.

"You want me to put meat in your hole?? How does one DO that??"

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. SHUT UP AND LET ME AND MISTAKE HAVE A FATHER DAUGHTER MOMENT!"

Present Time...

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"PAPA!! I FINALLY FOUND MY LEMONADE... I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU!!" Mistake smiled ear to ear.

"I'm so glad, honey!" her father replied.

Granny Cwoisaint cleared her throat and asked, "Do you mind telling me what's happening? Why're you filling her hole with raw ground beef and why does she LIKE raw ground beef?"

"Be-CAUSE," Mistake said, "I am looking for WHO TOLD EVERYONE THAT I'M EVIL. Which meant that I needed to find my LEMONADE HOLE."

Mr. Maid GASPED. "WAIT!! NOW WE NEED TO FIND A TROLL!!!!!! Where do we get a troll?"

"A troll? Like in the classic tale, the Billy Goats Gruff?" asked Granny Cwoisaint.

Mistake stood there, contemplating and pondering the meaning of life.

Granny Cwoisaint said, "Yes... now that I think about it, it's OBVIOUSLY the Billy Goats Gruff trolls!! What other troll would it be? You should just stop this dumb mission because trolls don't even exist in this part of town!"

Mistake's eyes widened. "NO but... ROBLOX TROLLS DO!!!"

GASP!!!

Mr. Maid whipped out his phone and downloaded Roblox.

"OK I'M MAKING AN ACCOUNT RIGHT NOW!! I'M GOING TO NAME MYSELF BIG_BACON_HEAD_NOOB6669."

"Why?"

"Because Roblox trolls LOVE bullying bacon hairs and noobs!"

"Oh... true..."

Mr. Maid paused and SCREAMED, "NOOO!!"

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Mistake and Granny Cwoisaint whipped their heads to face the hideous thing.

"It's... laggy on mobile!"

Mistake squinted. "Just deal with it, you were never there to buy me a computer anyways. If I can't play PC Roblox then YOU can't play PC Roblox."

"BUT I'M A KING!! I DESERVE THE BEST THINGS EVER!!!! Mommy said so..."

"WELL YOU'RE DEAD, SO DEAL WITH IT."

"BUT I CAN'TTTTT!!! I'M FAT FINGERING MY CONTROLS AND I CAN'T SEE THE SCREEN BECAUSE OF HOW LARGE MY FINGERS ARE!!!"

"Huh," Mistake scoffed, "So that's where I get my long thumbs from..." Mistake WHIPPED out a 6,000,000 km thumb out from her hand.

Granny Cwoisaint had fear in her eyes. "Are your fingers retractable?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FAMILY????? NEVERMIND, I DON'T WANT THE MARRIAGE! THEIR CHILD IS GOING TO BE SOME KIND OF MUTANT."

"GOOD. WE WEREN'T GETTING MARRIED ANYWAYS! NOW, LET'S GO PRETEND TO BE NAIVE AND DUMB KIDS IN ROBLOX ROLEPLAY GAMES SO THAT WE CAN BE PREYED ON BY TEENAGERS WHO WANT TO BELIEVE THAT THEY'RE COOL."

"OMG!!! NOT ONLY ARE YOUR FINGERS RETRACTABLE (and girthy), YOU'RE ALSO... A ROBLOX KID..." Granny Cwoisaint GASPED in SHOCK and FEAR.

Mistake declared with a 🤓☝️face, "We're not ROBLOX kids! We're ROBLOX kid predators!"

Granny Cwoisaint side eyed the 2 cackling royal family members INTENSELY.

"Which game should I join..." asked Mr. MAID, "Bloxburg, Meepcity, Royale High, Birkenstocks, Adopt me..."

"BIRKENSTOCKS? Like the shoe?" Granny asked, confused.

"IS IT NOT BIRKENSTOCKS?? LIKE THAT ONE ROLEPLAY GAME?" stated Mistake's dead/alive father. His expression was straight, straighter than the name John Smith (except John Smith isn't straight).

"Sir... Even I know that it's Brookhaven, and I'm a GRANDMA!!!!!!!! You could sip soup out of my face-wrinkle pockets! That shows just how old I am."

"Well GRANDMA. Unlike you, I play actual GOOD games like Furry Detector, Don't Get Sniffed, Feeding Trash to Rich People Tycoon, and Jeep Ride into Toilet!"

"DAD! Stop lying, we all know you join those Roblox Condo and e-dating games... Don't even try." Mistake rolled her eyes and grabbed the phone.

"HEY! I STILL NEED TO CHANGE MY AVATAR!!!! I NEED TO LOOK PRESENTABLE TO THE CHILDREN."

"EWWWW!! Wait... What's your avatar right now?" Mistake asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer to that.

Before her father could reply, ROBLOX finished loading.

"..."