the hated child

chapter nine

"RONALD MCDONALD! YOU LEFT ONE OF YOUR VILE NEON-PINK LIP GLOSSES IN HERE!" Mistake screeched.

"I hate pink," Wednesday said, "It's not black, the colour of my soul. Even grey would be ok. But pink?!?"

"OOH! CAN I TRY IT ON!" asked David excitedly.

"No," stated Ronald McDonald. "It's for my sister's crusty lips. I got it for her because she needs to cover her embarrassing face."

"E-embarrassing?" mumbled a diffident Mistake.

"Mistake, our goal is to marry the most famous, most rich, most amazing, most cool, and most famous people. So far, you're scaring them away because of how ugly and Mistake-y you look."

Mistake sighed and massaged her temples. "Dear Ronald McDonald, you must be recalling our interactions incorrectly. Nearly every single boy I have met so far is in love with me, with the exception of your boyfriend, John—"

Suddenly, John Smith popped into existence. "HAVE I BEEN SUMMONED?" he asked in a voice deeper than he can go.

"Mister John Smith, may I ask: How the fuck are you levitating?" *flashbacks to dula peep* "GERALD DON'T YOU DARE!"

"Oops, sorry!" Gerald said while slowly climbing out their window.

"And how the fuck are you here?"

"Pardon me - this is my dormitory," Mistake said.

Ronald McDonald chuckled. "Of course, John Smith and I wouldn't want to stay another second here! Who knows where your ants are!"

"Shoo! Shoo! Begone, thots!" Mistake shouted.

"Taa tAa~ Have fun with your ant kink!" Ronald McDonald said in that mean girl voice where it sounds nice and friendly but it's not really.

Mistake clenched her jaw. "IT'S A FETISH!" she corrected loudly.

"Mistake has an ant kink?" David whispered to Wendy.

"An ant fetish," Wednesday corrected just as quietly. "Which is worse, honestly."

"MISTAKE HAS AN ANT FETISH?!" screamed two voices under Mistake's bed. Everyone stared as Shed Eeeeeeeeeeran and WhiteBoy Overrated crawled out from under her bed.

"WhiteBoy...? Shed... Eeeeeeeeeeran? Why are you hiding underneath my bed?"

"In a princess dress too..." stated Wednesday.

"We just, uh—" WhiteBoy and Shed glanced at each other— "lost... something?"

Mistake instantly sighed with relief. "Oh, so you weren't stalking me? Good. I was ever-so-slightly worried about that."

Wendy rolled her eyes but no one saw.

"Wait, what's this paper? 'Tonight we will sneak into Mistake's room in her favourite outfit to watch her when she sleeps.'"

"AHH! T-THAT'S NOTHING! IT MUST BE A DIFFERENT MISTAKE HAHA..."

Wednesday arched an eyebrow like the Rock. "Sureee," she said. "And the outfit? What's up with that?"

WhiteBoy hesitated. "Well—uh, you see, it's to make TikTok dances (like RENEGADE RENEGADE RENEGADE *intense TikTok dancing*) in..."

"In my dormitory...?" Mistake questioned.

"...Yes. Because, well, it's very aesthetic. You know, the, uh, pink lipgloss, and um, the ants in our outfits? And the outfits themselves? It works," Shed Eeeeeeeeeeran stammered. Mistake's eyes narrowed at them.

"OH BOY!" shouted David. "It's time for BED! Come on, boys, you should all go back to your own dorms!" He shooed John, Shed, and WhiteBoy outside. "But, uh, leave the outfits here.!"

John, Shed, and WhiteBoy stood outside dejectedly while David was being a pretty little princess.