𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘴 ☼ 𝘳𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘯

𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥〔 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 〕

𝘈𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘥𝘦'𝘴 𝘗𝘖𝘝

After watching JJ and Pope head down the beach to catch something for us to eat, Kiara offers to help Cleo go foresting for some berries which leaves me alone with Sarah and John B. I pull myself to my feet, dusting the sand off my shorts and decide to give the couple a little space.

"You okay, Addy?" John B speaks up and I give them a reassuring smile.

"Just going for a walk. Don't worry about me, Booker" I tell him.

Before either of the two of them can reply, I start walking down the sand and out of their line of sight. My feet naturally carry me to a little spot in the caves that I found over a month ago now, it looks out onto the ocean and the sound of the waves echos in a soothing kind of way.

I take a seat down onto my favourite flat rock and pull my legs up to my chest, laying my chin down on my knees. From where I'm sitting I can vaguely hear the sound of my brother's laughter in the distance along with that of his boyfriend. Although the sound of their happiness makes me smile fondly, it also makes my heart clench with a familiar ache.

This past month on this island has been lonely to say the least. You'll likely find JJ somewhere teaching Pope a new skill while they flirt up a storm and somewhere else you'll find John B soothing Sarah's anxieties, the both of them acting like the island's parents. Kiara and Cleo are always trying to include me in whatever they're up to, which I appreciate more than I can explain, but I still feel as though I'm third wheeling as I watch the girls laugh together.

That's something I haven't done in a while, laugh I mean. I tell the Pogues until I'm blue in the face that I'm happy here and that nothing is wrong with me, but deep down I know that I'm lying to them. I'm lying to myself too because I know the reason that I'm unhappy, I just refuse to ever admit that out loud.

I miss Rafe. Even though he's a lying, manipulative, murderous sociopath and he's quite literally tried to kill everyone I love, I miss him. I miss him because while he is all of those bad things, he's still my Rafe and I can't fall out of love with him no matter how hard I try to.

Sometimes when I'm sat here on this rock I wonder if maybe it would be easier to fill my pockets up with stones and start swimming than to feel the pain that has made home in my chest. I think it would be. I'm sure it would be. Anything must be better than this nagging feeling of loneliness that I can't seem to shake.

Right as I make the mental decision to stand up and start collecting heavy looking rocks, I feel a presence sit down next to me that snaps me out of my thoughts.

"This place is nice" Pope's voice speaks and just like that, the voices in my head go silent.

"How did you find me?" I breathe out.

"I searched for the darkest quiet space I could find" He answers and I turn my head to look at him.

"Thank you" I say sincerely.

"What for?" He asks curiously.

"For being my best friend" I tell him, reaching out and taking a hold of his hand in mine "I think if it wasn't for you, I'd be dead. You've saved my life more times than you'll ever know"

The Heyward boy doesn't reply with words, I don't think he knows how to and that's okay with me. Instead of speaking, Pope wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a warm hug.