LOVING TWO

Chapter Two: Jacksonville (Diary)

I lived in Jacksonville all my life my mothers family lived here before also. Truth is leaving this town was hard for me but I thought of my mother and how much she would achieve I couldn't be selfish. When I think of Jacksonville I think of home. Even though I moved towns no matter what Jacksonville was always going to be my sweet home. In that town was were I first went fishing with my father we did lots of things together. He was an extraordinary man.

He taught me how to defend myself if I was ever attacked he was a boxer in his young days. I remember that was a huge conflict between my mother and him. She would panic every time he left the house she was afraid of him not coming back. So he left what he loved to do for the woman he loved the most.

Sadly to mention things between them got bad after that. I guess he always held a grudge towards my mother for having to quit his profession on his best years. He was never satisfied with just working at a construction place. While she made it big with her bakery shop and it was something she loved to do.

He was no longer happy and my mother couldn't understand why he needed to risk his life. To her every time he got inside that ring there was a chance of him not coming out of it alive. I understood the mad passion he had for that dangerous sport just by looking at his eyes glow when he would talk about it. He would share all his wins and also ties every time he took me out fishing with him.

After a couple years of constant arguments between my parents. I lost him to another family. You see not every family is perfect and even though the parents might show otherwise while their kids are present. Behind closed doors when they're finally alone the masks are dropped. I loved both of my parents so much and I respected their decision of splitting up. Although truthfully it was tearing me up inside.

I would see my father every weekend until one day he just stopped showing up. Couple days later we found out he left Jacksonville with his other family. He had left without saying goodbye. I tried finding excuses for his actions telling myself over and over again 'He still loves you'. Mom in the other hand tore up all the pictures of him that were laying around the house.

She would say he never existed and that his name must not be mentioned ever again. She was going through so much pain I knew better than to fight back but she never stopped to think about the pain I was going through. I guess after all she still loved him deep down inside and his actions really hurt her.

In the time of depression and sadness filled in my life. Zane a guy I grew up with was there for me to help me get through it all. We knew each other since we were kids. I liked him so much though I can't say he was my first love because the feelings were not as strong as what I felt for Jake.

However he did play a big part in my life he was my first boyfriend the first guy I ever kissed. Also the first guy I ever ran away with due to my mother and his father being against our relationship. According to them we were too young to date. He was also the first guy I got into a fight for.

Rachael was her name she always had a thing for Zane. We had attended the same middle school and just to be clear we weren't friends. It boiled my blood to know there was another girl that could take him away from me so I fought her. I know it was pretty foolish of me to do but that was back then and well after all I have my fathers genes. I was only 13 years old and did not know any better.

Zane's father enlisted him to the Marines Corp. According to him Zane had to live up to their family's chain of Marines. All his family served the country well at least every man in his bloodline had too. We said our goodbyes both with broken hearts and tears in our eyes. He swore to come back to me and I swore I'd never replace him but we both lied.

Truth is time flew like the wind. Days turned into weeks..weeks turned into months and months turned into years. I stopped receiving letters from him by the second year that he was gone. I would always go over his house to check if he might've send letters there. His mom was always sweet to me although his father didn't want him wasting time on young love crap like he would call it. He always thought Zane would prosper in life if he didn't have me around. According to his father I would make Zane lose focus on what was really important.

I would go over to his house every chance I'd get after school and I would hear nothing more then "He's doing okay" from his mother. Zane stopped thinking about me he had forgotten all about us just like my father had. It was time I moved on with my life as well. As time passed I figured getting my mind busy would be a good idea. So I began helping my mother at the bakery shop. Soon I'd meet Jake in that same place. Gazing upon his eyes for the very first time was such a beautiful moment. I felt what had died inside of me after Zane left had slowly woken up again with Jake.