LOVING TWO

Chapter Fifty-Two: Life Goes On

I stood by my bedroom window admiring the beautiful scenery. The cute little birds singing in melody. The bright sun gleaming on the nice shade of blue sky. It was a perfect day for not such a perfect mood. Several months had passed by since I last heard of James Dawson. What once felt like a nightmare slowly started to feel like a faded dream somewhere deep in my memory. I shifted my gaze from the sky to what use to be James room. A half smile formed on my face as tears rolled down my eyes. "No matter what..I'm going to take good care of you..I won't allow any harm to come your way..I'll give you all the love I'm holding inside..The love your daddy once refused..It's all yours now..I'm going to stay strong for you..For us", I softly said as I caressed my big tummy.

I wasn't ready to be a mother. I still had so much to learn but I wasn't going to give up easily. I was going to fight with all my might. I might've lost the love of my life this time for good but I wasn't going to lose the beautiful human-being that was moving inside of me. I thought I knew what true love was when I met James. I was wrong. Even though I'm not able to see her or touch her yet, she's already stolen all of my thoughts and heart. I had never experienced such powerful pure love. To imagine I would be holding her precious little body against mine in just a month in a half had me so impatient. I wanted to see her smell her kiss her and hold her. She was the last gift James left me with before he left.

I was going to love her a hundred times more. I always wondered would she look like me? Or would she look like him? I couldn't ignore the thought of the day I would look upon that beautiful little face and seeing James in it. It would hurt me yes. Maybe even break me a little each day. Though she would be part of him that I would keep with me till the day I died. I was always grateful for that and I never once regretted my pregnancy. As a matter of fact having her inside me made me feel strong. I felt like an undefeated champion. No matter how many punches life through at me, I always stood back up. I had too now that I had someone worth fighting for. I wasn't going to give up on her..Not a chance. I wasn't going to run away from my problems like her dad did. I was going to stick by her through thick and thin. Even if we had to do it alone. As long as she was beside me nothing in the world would bring us down.

Graduation had passed along with several laughters and emotional goodbyes. No one knew I was pregnant except close friends like Ashanti, Amy, Miles and well my family. I wasn't worried of Miles telling James anything because he had disappeared on his best friend too. He really meant his goodbye not just to me but to everyone else. To my surprise my Father had taken the news of my pregnancy lightly. My mother however went on an emotional rollercoaster for days. Some days she was happy she was going to be a grandmother while other days she would curse James name. At the end of the day I knew she wanted to meet my baby as much as I did. We both kept counting down the days we would finally be able to meet her little angelic face.

Both Ashanti and Amy were crazy happy to be young aunties. They always came by bringing homemade gifts or cute tiny clothing from stores. Not to mention the tasty pastries Amy would bake for us. As my belly grew I tried not to be seen by people outside. It was a small town and I was trying to prevent from anyone saying bad things about my baby. I didn't care what they thought about me being such a young girl pregnant with no support from the baby's father. I wanted to keep my child's name out of their wicked thoughts and boastful mouths. Miles came around often to see me. He had absolutely become such an important person in my life. He was sweet and always thoughtful. He would put my needs before anyone else's. Miles became someone I cried out too when it was all becoming surreal.

He became my shadow always helping around and taking me to the doctor appointments when my parents couldn't. Heck people that didn't know us would've thought we were a couple. Although what we had was only a solid beautiful friendship. I couldn't help but hurt a little knowing that it could've been James. Every time I was craving something Miles would do his best to bring it to me. No matter what time of day he always picked up his phone. Not once sending any of my calls to voicemail. He was there for me beyond a hundred percent. I disliked admitting to myself but after time I noticed just how much I relied on him. He was such a wonderful soul that I sometimes wondered why I couldn't have fallen in love with him instead of his best friend. My life would've been so different.