Poisonous Love. [EDITING]

ten

(a/n: i forgot to write this last chapter but i'm srry i've been gone for a week,schools kicking ass and now my teachers are starting to call my mama.)

AALIYAH

i don't distinctly remember the first memory that i ever had with my dad,but if i could somehow find it and frame it in a way where i could have it forever,it would be the greatest gift i'd ever received.

my life is nowhere near perfect,and sometimes i get upset at the fact that it can't be.

why couldn't we be born rich or have everything that we wanted?

it was a confusing question that i asked myself for years and still yet i never received the answer to it.

after hoping and praying that somehow my life could be picture perfect,i realized that me being grateful for the family that i have now is as pervasive it can be.

i may not be rich but i have manners and home training and source of education that only i can receive.
my dad.

whenever i'm not at school trying not to drop out,or at my job trying my hardest not to quit,i'm at home.

i never thought growing up that sitting and just having a raw conversation with somebody could solve so many problems but my old man has taught me so much that only few are capable of teaching.

he's tough,overprotective and has built up these walls around me and miles that he allows nobody to break down.

but he's also wise,educated and loving,and he continues to educate me on everyday lessons that i'm more than happy to listen to.

like for instance.
the incident.

after i happened i spent months in my room,upset at the fact that it was my fault and that i had regretted everything that happened that night.

my dad explained to me that having regrets isn't gonna benefit you in the future.

everything that you do and everything that happens to you happens for a reason,and it makes you the person that you are.

you learn from those mistakes and educate yourself on where you went wrong and what you can do better next time.

so there's no point in wishing that something would go away when it can't,instead let it be your lesson.
learn from it.

i'm still upset at myself for what happened but is it a regret or a mistake?

i'm not really sure yet.

i haven't figured it out.

a knock came onto my door before it opened,the man himself popping in.
"why are you still asleep,get up."

i sat up against my head board,him walking to my bed and sitting on the end.

"the real question is why aren't you at work,it's almost ten."
i rubbed my eyes.

he chuckled folding his arms,he leaned back opening my blinds letting the light pour through the rest of the room.

"chill,i'm just asking."
i covered my eyes,tugging on my hoodie strings.