Review #23: Stranded

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Kiara786786

First Impression: beautiful cover!

The plot of this story reminds me of Lord of the Flies, when they get stranded on the island. I like the change of points of views because it gives us insight on different characters' thoughts. That being said, don't change point of views too much or else it will get confusing. You have some basic descriptions, which are great, but I would love to see more. Use auditory imagery, olfactory imagery, describe everything with all the senses, so we can really picture what it's like on that island. I would also love to see more physical description of the characters, instead of having pictures of what they look like inserted into the book. In Chapter 1, the first part, I just thought it would be better to add the word "away" before "from work." It just sounds correct that way. Also, there are some grammar and spelling issues, like you spelled "pieces" wrong. Also, I would love to see some more background information about the characters, like where are they from, their age. Give us a sense of what their personalities are like and have them develop as characters as the book progresses. Also, why do they accept the fact that they are stuck on the island so easily? If it were me, I would've spent a long time confused, angry, hurt, etc. 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories, and I will post it! 

Please comment below a rating of how helpful this review was for you (out of 5 stars) Be honest, because it will help me! Thanks :)

- bluecrayonlady 

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