Book Reviews 2 [SLOW UPDATES]

Review #47: The Perks of Being Invisible

aisha_35

First Impression: nice cover

I'm not really sure why the title is called "The Perks of Being Invisible" when it seems like Lee suffers from being invisible. Nevertheless, I like the descriptions that you paint throughout the story, especially of her home life. I also think it's great that you are able to characterize each of them to make them unique and distinct. There are some grammatical errors that you can catch when you go back and do some general editing. One example is "I got small brown eyes, that are nothing but dull orbs..." in Chapter 1. I think you should replace "got" with "have" and delete the comma. I also would like for you to give more information on their ages, because they are smoking and doing some pretty illegal things. You definitely should have a wider range of vocabulary, because you tend to use the same phrases over and over. Also, a lot of chapters are just descriptions of every single thing she does in her life, which does get boring. I would recommend speeding up the story, because after 8 chapters, I'm still confused as to where this story is headed towards. You also keep repeating the descriptions of the clouds and nature in every chapter, and this can also get a little redundant, so make sure to watch out for that. The plot does get a little confusing in Chapter 4, and there are some parts that are a little unclear because of plot holes. I would just suggest going back and editing.

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

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- bluecrayonlady