Book Reviews 2 [SLOW UPDATES]

Review #32: Fading

goodlife2002

First Impression: nice cover, really gives off the "fading" vibe

This is a cool story, even though I'm really confused on why she is "fading" and why she needs him to remember her. You can definitely do more explaining on this. Perhaps she is a ghost? There are some spelling errors and run on sentences, so make sure to watch for those when editing. Also, when you write, the comma comes first, then the space. Your formatting is a little off, but it's an easy fix. There are also some parts where you start to ramble or go off topic. This brings in unnecessary information and doesn't add to the story. I would recommend cutting those parts out, because it will bore readers. I like the switch of points of views, but when you started switching often, it got confusing and annoying. I would suggest to just stay in one person's point of view most of the story, and switch sometimes to give insight on another character's mind. Also for characters, you can work on developing them and creating well rounded characters. 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout. If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories, and I will post it!

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- bluecrayonlady