Book Reviews 2 [SLOW UPDATES]

Review #33: Astral Saga

HavocWriter1

First Impression: nice cover!

I like the History Lesson chapter, because it shows that you have this whole world planned out very well and you clear up any confusion that might arise. I like how you describe the world very well, and explain what happened in the past that has now led us to here. Your descriptions are great, and your prologue is very action filled. What I'm worried about is that since there are so many characters, and you are writing in third person, it might get confusing in the future. For example, in the last part of the first chapter, you have "Jessica pointed out." And then you have "Janina asked." And after that, "Jason answered." All these names will probably get confusing as the story progresses, so I suggest writing in one character's point of view and give their take on what is happening. You can switch points of views sometimes. It's your choice. If you want to stay in third person, that can work as well, you just have to be very careful when writing so that readers don't get confused. You could also work on making each character's personality distinct so that we can learn who they are and tell them apart from each other. 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

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- bluecrayonlady