Book Reviews 2 [SLOW UPDATES]

Review #39: #24 Hours With A Stranger

BusyLovinBooks

First Impression: love the cover!

You have a good start that really shows what kind of person the main character is. There's good characterization throughout and I like how the plot develops. It's a unique idea! Make sure to watch your verb tense and spelling, because I found some errors with that. Also, a big thing is formatting. Make sure to put the punctuation inside the quotation marks. For example, one of your sentences, 'So he repeated, "I said don't sit there" , still busy...' and this is wrong because the comma should be inside the quotation marks, like "I said don't sit there," Also there are some parts where it's kind of slow, especially when you switch the point of view. I like the switch because it gives us insight on both characters, but it doesn't flow well if you repeat the same situation in Ryan's point of view. We are just reading it over again and that slows the story down. I would suggest writing in Ryan's point of view starting from when he runs out to find Ana, and not repeat their conversation in his point of view. That way, the story moves at a faster pace and readers don't become bored. 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories! 

Lastly, please comment below a rating of how helpful this review was for you (out of 5 stars). Be honest, it will help me! Thanks :)

- bluecrayonlady