Book Reviews 2 [SLOW UPDATES]

Review #56: The Boy Who Sat Next to Me

TiaraBooks

First Impression: love the cover!

I like the story. There are just some improvements that you can do to make the story better. For example, the first part of the book is very boring because you tend to describe every small little thing in her life. I would suggest to only elaborate on the meaningful parts, or else readers will be bored. I usually suggest to bring up the conflict by Chapter 3. That way, you keep the attention of your reader. Also, I felt that the word choice was very childish for students who are juniors. You use a lot of exclamation marks, and it just makes it sound like a bunch of middle school people are talking. "Bestest" is also not a word. There are many spelling errors that need to fixed, and there are also some run on sentences. I also suggest not to have the time stamps, where you write "Earlier this morning," etc. I also felt that the story wasn't developed very well in the beginning, which is why when the conflict came, it felt too sudden and out of the blue. I suggest finding a way to develop it more so that the conflict makes a greater impact. I can start to see where the story is headed after the conflict occurs. 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories! Message me if you have any questions. 

Lastly, please comment below a rating of how helpful this review was for you (out of 5 stars) Be honest, it will help me! Thanks :) Make sure to vote for this chapter if you enjoyed the review!

- bluecrayonlady