Book Reviews 2 [SLOW UPDATES]

Review #51: Dear You

pinepeach

First Impression: really cool plot idea! I'm excited to read :)

I have to admit, I was really excited to read this story, but then after reading it all, I realized that I did more clicking than reading. Your chapters are way too short. Most of them are just repeating the same thing over and over again, and I got really bored after a while. There's no point or goal that you are reaching, and it's just us reading about the pain of the main character. We don't even know what caused this pain. You need to give us more background information on the writer and the receiver's history early on so we know what the story is, or else when the main character breaks down, I think they're just foolish. Is the main character a girl or a guy? You should also give more descriptions early on. Also, in Chapter 7, you write "your cuter though," but it should be "you're cuter though." In Chapter 20, you write "led" but I think you're trying to say "lead." Just some minor changes that you can fix when you go back to edit. Otherwise, the main thing is that you repeat yourself and the same message way too many times that it gets boring. 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

Payment: read one book (completed)

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- bluecrayonlady