Book Reviews 2 [SLOW UPDATES]

Review #60: Through the eyes of his bully

Queenofhoen15

First Impression: simple cover; short summary but straight to the point

I liked this story. You do a great job developing it and congratulations on completing it! I like how there is different points of views throughout the story, because it gives the reader insight on the whole situation. I also like how you slowly give us snippets of her life so we piece together the information like a puzzle. I would suggest giving more background information about her age, her grade, what she looks like. I liked that you gave some information on her home life, but it would be great to have more, or develop it further. In Chapter 4, the second paragraph, I think you mean to write "Calum" instead of "Aaron." There are just some minor errors like that throughout the story, so just make sure to go back and do some general editing for spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc. I also suggest not writing "Time Skip" so obviously. You should show us that time has passed, and now just write it out in bold letters. I also think that you can have more sentence variety, because a lot of your sentences are short. I get that you use this technique for effect, but sometimes it gets annoying when something that can be written as one long sentence is written as a bunch of little sentences. I like that your story focuses on the issue of bullying. 

Overall, I highly recommend this book. 

Remember that these suggestions are just my opinion, and this is your story, so make sure to write it the way you want it to be! If you don't agree with any of my suggestions, then ignore them :)

If you are feeling nice, I would greatly appreciate it if you give one of my stories a read, follow me, or give me a shoutout! If you enjoy making art, I would love for you to make something for one of my stories, and I will post it! Message me if you have any questions. 

Lastly, please comment below a rating of how helpful this review was for you (out of 5 stars) Be honest, it will help me! Thanks :) Don't forget to vote for this chapter if you enjoyed this review!

- bluecrayonlady