Breakeven ▷ Lerrie

drunk

Leigh

I open my eyes and squinted as the sun shone directly above me. As I stretched I rolled over to see an empty bed.

I sat up quickly and removed the covers off my body as I jumped off the bed.

My feet rushed me to the bathroom but she wasn't there.

"Perrie?" I croak.

I opened my bedroom door and walked out to the lounge room.

"Babe," I coo "are you out here?"

I walked around slowly trying to find her. As I got closer to the back of the bench I could hear soft cries.

I rushed over and found Perrie leaning against the cupboard doors. Her face was wet with tears, her eyes red, her shirt soaked and at least 5 bottles of alcohol around her.

"Oh hey babe," she said "care to join me? I have a lot more." she answered as she showed me another 2 full bottles.

I sat down beside her and saw her break down into more tears the second I looked her in the eye.

"Babe, what's wrong?" I ask worried.

"I can't forget what she told me," she started "and I don't know how," she continued " so I decided to drown myself in alcohol," she laughed "there's nothing better to do than this anyway."

I wiped away the tear that formed in my eye and shook my head gently.
"Babe," I say as I heard my voice crack "do you know how bad it feels?  To watch you cry nearly every other day. It may not be that obvious," I cry " but when you fall asleep I'm hurt too. Last night I had to cry myself to sleep. Because I didn't know if I was even putting us on the right track. Like am I not that good of a fiancè? It's just weird to think that I'm not as good as I thought I was all this time.."

"But you're good enough. You show it to me every single second, minute and hour we're together. It may not he obvious to you but you really make me happy Leigh. You make think that you're really nothing and useless but at the end of the day.. You're my everything. The only person that has kept me whole these last few months. And I can't thank you enough. And as drunk as I am right now," she laughed "I'm telling the truth. So just promise me that you'll help me. I don't wanna live this way. It fucking sucks to be in love with you and have the tiniest feeling for Jade."

I laughed and helped her wipe the tears away from her face.

"You are the most honest drunk I've ever encountered." I laugh.

"Tell me about it," she chuckled "but it ain't pretty when I need to get up. I can't."

I pulled myself up and gave her my hand.

"Need help?" I smile.

"More like a lie down and some food," she laughed "but yeah that would be great."