Breakeven ▷ Lerrie

how ya doin

Perrie

Over the phone I could hear Jade giggling through the other end as I stuffed my face in Hot Chips.

"Jade do you mind?," I laugh "hurry the fuck up and get your ass in the bathroom."

I looked at Leigh-Anne who sat across from me with a smile over her face.

"Ok ok I'm inside," Jade announced as I heard her lock the door " Ok I'm ready."

"So how'd it go J?," Leigh-Anne asked as she took a photo of her newly arrived meal " what about Jes?"

"To be honest," Jade sighed as I shot a 'oh no' face to Leigh.

"Do you think it didn't go well?" Leigh-Anne mouthed.

I shrugged my shoulders and let her continue talking.

" I actually really really like her."

Me and Leigh-Anne burst out in squeals without giving a fuck about the people around us.

"Oh may gash it's getting realer than real." I laugh.

"Jes just has that confidence and beauty that I find very rare in people."

"So what?," I ask "you didn't see that in me?" I joke.

"Fuck off P," she laughed "but seriously I don't think I want this day to end."

"Then don't let it boo," Leigh added "if you really wanna get it going then invite her over to your place."

"As in invite her over for s -"

Leigh-Anne cut Jade short and shook her head until she realised Jade was on the phone. " No you fuck. I meant that you should invite her over for some scary movie shit. I didn't tell you to have first date sex."

I laughed and mouthed L to lower it down.

"Babe keep it down," I laugh " we're in fucking public."

"You made out with me like 15 minutes ago in an empty alley way. Keep your zipper shut unless you're gonna ask me to strip you." Leigh-Anne teased.

Jade burst out in laughter over the phone, "What the fuck. Shy to sexy in 0.5 seconds. Meow. Kinky girl you got there Leigh. I'm surprised. When we were together she couldn't even rip off my bra off me chest."

I covered my face and listened to Leigh-Anne and Jade laugh hysterically. These two were insane I didn't even know why I'm even best friends with them.

"Bitch I was such a baby back then. Fight me," I joke " So what if I couldn't do that?"

"I love how you're admitting that you can actually rip off clothing now without even realising. Leigh what has she taken off?"

I rolled my eyes and added extra Peri Peri sauce to my chicken before I could slap the living hoes out of the girls.

"Well from what I can remember..," she started "she's done tops, baggy shirts, pants, dresses and bras."

Jade laughed, "Next thing you know she's entering wonderland. If she does give me a ring. That girl couldn't even touch my boobs without asking me first. That's how cautious she was. Now look at her. Pez you've grown so much. Like seriously," she chuckled " I can't even breath dear god help me now. But I'm proud. Don't be a pussy whenever you two do it next time. I believe in ya'll."

Leigh-Anne sat across from me and was teary eyed from the amount of laughing.

I however sat like I normal person trying to avoid choking on my food yet alone the erotic conversation being talked about through my phone.

"If my mind only had a clear history button," I huff  "I'd be dying right now to have one." I claim.

"Then what?," Jade buzzed "buy a video camera to make a sex tape so you can go over your mistakes?"

I dropped my cutlery on the table and started laughing.

"You're such a fucking bitch. Can I not eat in peace?"

"I don't think you'll have any right now," Leigh-Anne said as she dried her face " how did you eat before when she was around."

"Oh that's where you're wrong Leigh," Jade started "back then I was an innocent little Geordie."

"And now you're not," I laugh "we get it. Now I suggest you take that ass of yours back to your newly found boo bear and take her home. And no not in that way. I really want to eat."

"Then eat Leigh-Anne. She's with you for heavens sake. Eat her up. So come on baby baby come on pretty baby," she sang " you're gonna get it tonight."

"Why are you helping me plan my sex sched? That is ridiculous. Shut up. Goodbye."

I ended the call and let in a gasp of air.
"I can breathe!"

"I can tell," Leigh-Anne laughed "but you do owe be an award later."

I rolled my eyes and nodded, "Whatever. Just shut up and let me eat if you want it. Otherwise I'm not giving you anything at all."

She pouted and flashed me the rude finger while no one noticed.

"Fuck you too." I say.