Breakeven ▷ Lerrie

bruises and scars

Leigh

I sit myself into a ball on Jade's couch, tears drying on my face, leaving it untouched as I watched the girls stare at me from the bench.

Having the nearly empty tissue box by my side I played around with the sandwich that Jesy had made me. Continously ripping off tiny bits of bread and throwing it onto the plate like it was a game.

"She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not." I whisper, tears once again welling in my eyes as I threw bread onto the plate.

"Leigh," Jade sighed "she loves you and I know damn well she does and you do too."

I shook my head and bit the insides of my gums, trying my best to make it bleed until I could taste the blood on the edge of my tongue.

But at this moment it was impossible. So I ripped the bread with more strength, cussing every single profanity my mouth let me.

"Babe, she's going insane,"Jade whispered "what the fuck are we going to do? When Perrie comes home. Oh hey Perrie yeah she just wasted a sandwich, cussed for 5 minutes and is now trying her best to make her mouth bleed."

"Just let her feel what she wants to feel," Jesy whispered. I could still hear them and I wanted to block it out. But I had no idea how " just like everyone says. Pain demands to be felt. It's great that you have accepting parents and honestly I'm thankful myself. But we can't change what Debbie thinks. We need her to realise the damage. It'll be over soon. A relationship like theirs," she said "it's unbreakable. The amount of love they have is insane. They could fight a hundred more times but at the end of the day they'll be wrapped around each other."

"Well all we can do is hope for the best," Jade sighed "and if she didn't make that sandwich into homemade lego pieces then I would've eaten that."

"Then if you're hungry make another one. Geez." Jesy laughed.

I rolled my eyes and stood up from the couch. The plate fell from the edge and in no time was the carpet covered in bread pieces.

I let it be and brang myself to the bathroom, locking the door behind me and searching through cupboards.

Finally, underneath the sink was what I needed. I took it out of it's little compartment and held it under the light.

I opened it up and gritted my teeth as the light shone onto it's blades.

And just as I brought the blade to my skin I let it tear my skin apart and in seconds the blood was shooting up from veins.

Outside I could hear muffled noises, a door banging, the girls shouting with joy and the voice of the girl I hadn't heard about in ages.

"I think I know what I can do about it. I have this really great friend called Troye. I used to tell him all about Leigh when we were kids. And he told me everything. My mom said she'd come over to Leigh's place and talk with us."

"That's great news babe." Jade laughed.

"Totally." Jesy added.

"But where is she?"

I put the scissors back into the cupboard and got up. My hand switched the light off and my hand turned the door.

"Baby." Perrie cooed.