Breakeven ▷ Lerrie

throwback

Perrie

"How do you spell Zayn?" I ask.

"Well unlike now I actually spelt it the correct way. The way I spelt it back in UNI was Z-A-I-N. That was what I was born with. But the Malik part," he laughed "I didn't really feel it. So instead I used Javaad/Javvad. Weird but I don't know what came up in the brain and I used that but," he smiled "I guess that's why you had that feeling earlier."

"Well I don't get shocked by a feeling ever so often," I laugh "but on the real though. We were quite close. I'll tell you that."

"Speaking of which," he smiled "Perriwinkle Edwards." he winked.

"I remember that," I laugh "I'm just in awe. Like we composed, we recorded together."

"We did everything those few years," he said, rejogging my memory "you used to call me every night. Said you couldn't sleep because you needed me."

"I needed you because it was needed. If I didn't have you then I wouldn't be here, breathing, carrying and child and married to my best friend, my angel."

"You're welcome. And despite the name change I'm happy you remembered me." he smiled.

"Well you held a important part of me that I couldn't leave behind all crushed and destroyed. And -"

"Did you guys ever become a thing?"
Leigh-Anne asked. Her expression was blank but I could tell she felt off.

"Never in a million years," Zayn laughed "Perrie and I would never. I mean she had you so why would we?"

"Me?," she asked "I'm so confused. I was in LA. We weren't even dating or even talking yet."

"First of all," I start "you were the person first person I fell in love with. Second you were always in my mind. And with the second thing. I thought this: why not write about you?"

"And Jade?" she asked.

"We were long gone babe. She left for New York. To persue what she never end up doing."

Harry snorted, "Well that's a waste. Oh Jeed. Never fails to make me laugh."

"Anyway," Zayn said "she would always call me, every night. She'd be like 'Zaynnnnnnnn I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about her. And like I haven't seen her in ages. Like legit!' "

"And so he suggested that I write music with him the next day after I thought it out the day before."

"Anything dirty?" Harry smirked.

"Uh no. Of course not." I say.

"Actually there is," Zayn said "you wrote a song called Rock Me."

I dropped my jaw and my eyes widened, "Fuck. I forgot bout that."

"Rock Me?," Harry said "think I know what that's about." he coughed.