Breakeven ▷ Lerrie

treat you better

Leigh

I sunk onto the ground, the floor boards creaking below me as I felt my tears rushing down my face and creating a river down my shirt.

"You fuck up," I whisper as I drove my hands up my hair and cried "you're such a fucking idiot Leigh-Anne," I tremble "shouldn't have fucking done that."

I stayed on the floor for a while until I lifted myself off the floor and walked slowly to the kitchen, switching on the lights and opening each and every drawer.

"Where the fuck is it?" I ask under my breath as I dug under the unorganised pile of cutlery.

But it wasn't long till my eyes caught the familiar object. It's blades brightly shined under the light as I pulled it out slowly and examined the pair.

As I opened the blades the door opened and Perrie stood there, her eyes wide and focused on my skin and the scissors.

" I - I didn't do a thing I swear to -"

She ran toward me and pushed me against the wall, her lips crashed furiously onto mine as she drove her hand around my hips and breathed in heavily.

"There's no fucking way I can stay mad at you," she explained "impossible shit," she laughed before she took the scissors away and placed them on the bench. "Just promise me this," she sighed "don't ever do that again. Don't trust anyone at a bar. Honestly it's just stupid," she smiled as she took my wrist and pressed a soft, gentle kiss over the previous one that I scarred not long ago. "I said to you the last time that I never wanted to see one more. And I hope that never happens. Cutting yourself won't change anything. It'll stay and haunt you. And that's something I don't want you to face. I as who I am and as a future mother," she sighed "I don't want our child asking why you have one to many scars. I don't want our baby knowing that our fights caused it. I want her to know that  even if that's there," she answered as she rubbed her thumb over it " it's a symbol of how we're still here."

I nodded gently, avoiding to spill out my tears. But it was no use. As much as I had an affect on her she had the exact same.

Her words made my tears fall and I couldn't help but laugh at my excuse to cut yet again.

"God that was stupid." I say.

"It may seem stupid to you now," she said "but when you were there you knew you had to do it. Because in your head you made me angry. And the only way for you to deal was to treat yourself with a nice scar. But you can treat not only yourself but you can treat me better by lessening your time at the club and just maybe have it at home or at the studio," she laughed "I think you've had the party animal crown up your ass for way to long." she laughed.

"You think so?" I laugh, a smile finally appearing on my face.

She looked down at her stomach and patted it lightly, "What do you think baby? You think Mom has to give that crown up?" she joked.

"Oh shut up Perrie."

"Look at you being a bad influence on your child."

"Janella Rey do not listen to your mother ." I say.

"First of all she ain't gonna hear you, two it might be a Daniel so stop that." she laughed.

"Stop that." I mock.