☆Sidemen Imagines and Preferences☆

#3• Simon Imagine

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Requested: bonniethebunnyfrfr

Theme: Cute and Sad

Warning: Depression and Self Harm, Swearing
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(A.n Please don't take offense to this. This situation of the imagine just calls for it. Not saying you are any of these words)

Celeste POV.

Fat
Ugly
Worthless
Stupid
Bitch

The voices in my head screamed insults back and forth at me while I laid on the floor of my bedroom trying not to cry.

I was home alone waiting for Simon my boyfriend to return home. While he was gone I decided to watch some of his videos but then soon saw the comments.

Lots of mean hate towards me. Usually Simon would be here to cheer me up but this time he wasn't. I threw my phone at the wall not caring about the damage.

I hate this. I hated how much I hate myself. The depression just never left me. The only time I had slight relief was by cutting. But I had stopped. I promised Simon I will stop.

I still remember the day when he found out about my depression and self harm, when he found me nearly half dead on the bathroom floor. That was about a year ago now.

I promised him I would never hurt myself again. Some days it's just so hard not to break that promise. Some days, I just don't want to be here.

I look at the faded scars that scattered my wrists and legs as I sobbed. No one could hear me so I didn't stop. Simon wasn't home and no one cared about me.

I felt worthless, the bathroom called for me, daring me to go inside were my demons waited. It was a verbal fight in my mind if I do it or not.

I gave in to the urge and crawled over to the bathroom while my vision blurred from salty tears. I fumbled around in the cabinet until I found it. My blade.

Am I really going to do this again?
I'm going to break my promise?

The voice in my head told me to do it and I listened to it. I held the metal against my fragile wrist and started slicing. I painted my wrists with red blood.

I winced at the pain but it wasn't that bad. I made about 3 before I lost control and just started to do many cuts covering me arm. I dropped the bloody blade on the white bathroom tiles.

I'm going to have to clean up this mess before Simon gets here. The slight relief of cutting soon vanished as I was swarmed with an overpowering feeling of guilt.

How could I of done this to Simon?

My stomach turned, what was I going to do?

I quickly cleaned up the mess in the bathroom and my arm. I grabbed my black hoodie and pulled it over my brunette hair and over my body covering my arms.

It was quite warm so hopefully Simon won't notice. I wiped away my tears and washed my face so it didn't look that I was crying.

I grabbed my phone from the floor and was thankful there was no cracks.

"Babe, I'm home!" Simon shouted from downstairs. I smiled but soon frowned remember what I did to him. I broke my promise.

I ignored the guilt and ran down the stairs as my boyfriend came into view. He pecked my lips and took off his shoes.

"Want to have a movie might Celeste?" he suggested raising his eyebrows. I nodded excited.

//Time Skip//

Simon and I were cuddled up on the couch watching our favorite movie in silence with small kisses now and then.

I hugged his waist as his arm was over my shoulder pulling me into his body. I was grabbing the ends of my hoodie and held them in my palms. A habit I do whenever I cut and don't want the sleeves to roll up.

Simon asked me to grab the remote and so I reached out and grabbed it but in the middle of it my sleeve came out from my grip and rolled up exposing a few fresh cuts.

I quickly pulled it down hoping Simon didn't notice. I gave him the remote as he sat there silently still watching the movie. He turned the TV down and just sat there staring at the TV.

He must not of seen. Only a couple minutes passed and my eyes were glued to the movie while he was staring at me. I didn't dare look back at him. Why was he staring at me?

"You broke your promise, didn't you?"

Simons voice filled the room and my guilt rose as I froze.

Shit he saw!

I was in a state of panic on the inside. My head dropped as we turned to face each other. I didn't know what to say. I saw small tears pick his eyes and I'm sure mine were the same.

He pulled me into him and hugged me tightly. He mumbled if he could see them. I pulled back and tried to move away from him. I didn't want him seeing what I did to myself. He grabbed my hips and made me stay put.

"You can trust me Celeste." He spoke softly. I nodded my head and rolled up my sleeves. His eyes widen and I looked away ashamed.

I expected him to get mad at me but instead I felt a soft pair of lips on my skin. I looked back and saw that he was slowly kissing all of my cuts. After he finished he came up and kissed my lips.

I kissed back and he mumbled onto my lips that he loved me.

"Please stop, I'm not going to leave your side until I know your okay. All of the things you think badly about yourself isn't true, you're perfect to me. I'll help you even when you try and push me away. I love you Celeste!" He announced sweetly.

My heart warmed at his words and I believed him. I hugged him tightly and didn't want to let go. How did I get so lucky to have him?

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There you go hope you liked it ❤

*****

I made the media image myself so if you want to use it please give credit. xx

Published: 25.7.16

Edited: 6.9.17