breathe// 5SOS

33

Ava

I sat in Lucy's office, my feet on the sofa. We'd talked about pride, and how I managed that, as well as a long talk about school.

Now I wanted to talk about Marcus.

"Dad found out I have a brother. He's called Marcus, and he's fifteen, and he lives an hour away at a foster house,"

"That's a big load of news, how do you feel about having a brother?"

"I like it. Harry is like my brother but he can't really be my brother, but like dad says his friends are his brothers. I don't know,"

"Don't jump to 'I don't know' , let's think about this. How do you feel that you've only just been told?"

"I'm happy, and upset, and confused, and shocked. It's overwhelming,"

"It must be, and it can make you feel like all your emotions are at a high,"

"Yeah. I'm just upset because before dad, I thought I had no one left who wanted me, or could ever love me. All this time I've had a brother,"

"How is dad dealing with this?"

"I think he is a bit shocked but also happy. I want him to adopt Marcus but he said we needed a bigger home and that it was in the future if it happens,"

"Yeah, he has got to think about money and space, but also that Marcus might not want to live with him. They might not get along, but you can still visit him,"

"Why?"

"His foster home may be really good, and might want to adopt him,"

"Dad contacted his foster carers and talked, so Marcus and I are talking soon,"

"Tell him the things you like, and ask him what he likes. It might be awkward, but he might have the exact same feelings. It's hard to cope with this as you know, and this can be scary for him too,"

"What could he be feeling?"

"Well he might feel guilty that he couldn't protect you, because big brothers and sisters usually like to protect their siblings a little. He might be disappointed because you didn't get to grow up with him, but it's not his fault snd he will feel like it is,"

"Yeah. I'm kinda of freaked out,"

"It's a surprise, I'll give you that. On Friday, we will talk about how it's going. Keep writing in your journal,"

"Thankyou,"

"You're very welcome. If dad doesn't come then come back okay?"

I nodded and went out of the office, seeing Viola in the waiting room. Smiling, I sat next to her letting her give me a hug; It was comforting to see her.

"Your dad has just gone to get some bread,"

"Okay. Did he contact them?"

"He did, and they're really lovely. He said they're telling Marcus and emailing his number or snapchat,"

"Okay. When do I have to see the optician?"

"Did you talk about that?"

"Yeah,"

"I think on Thursday, but there's nothing to worry about. Dad will be in there,"

"And dad will be there for my braces appointment,"

"Exactly. That's on Thursday next week,"

"Okay," I sighed, closing me eyes. I heard the door open and felt dad scratching my head, wanting my attention. I shrugged him off and buried my head in Viola's arm, but then he sat next to me and I had to look.