breathe// 5SOS

42

Ava

Luke bounded into the office, a smile on his face when he saw me. It had been a boring day, so I didn't have that energy.

"You ready to go?"

"No,"

"Why?"

"I'm... scared,"

He pulled me off the sofa and wrapped his arm round my shoulder, grabbing his bag.

"It's a family changing room, so we can go in the cubicle next to each other. I'll make sure you're okay,"

When we got in his car, I plugged my headphones in and fought the urge to bite my nails. It was a bad habit of mine when I was anxious, and I wanted nice nails.

Instead of biting my nails, I often clicked my fingers, or twisted a ring on my finger. Lucy had told me if a repetitive movement helped me calm down, then I should use it.

"How have you been finding this all since it started?"

"It was tiring at first,"

"Is it getting easier?"

"Yeah,"

"Good. That's really good,"

"I thought it might fix my body," I said honestly, "but I don't like how I look yet,"

"I am insecure too, Ava, but this is the body you've got, and it works hard, so why not love it?"

"But you look fine, and have nice teeth and are always so cheerful,"

"But when I look at you, that's what I see too. We all have our upset moments, and even through those you are beautiful- raw emotion can be beautiful. You're just being yourself and that's all you can do,"

"I am really scared of other people's opinions,"

"I used to be too. Being a teenager is hard, but it's not impossible,"

We got to the gym and went to the changing room, where I got into my swimming costume. I wrapped my towel around my body and then packed my bag so that Luke could put it in the locker.

He helped me get my goggles on, then led me to the pool; a few people were swimming laps, but as promised it was quite empty.

"If you get in, I'll hang your towel up okay?"

"No, I need your help,"

"Hang your towel up then," he said, starting to get in the pool. I did as he said and wrapped my arms around my body, quickly following him.

"Look, no one can even see your body now,"

"I know,"

"How much swimming can you do?"

"I can do the frog leg one,"

"That's good. If you do a lap and I walk beside you incase, would that be okay?"

I nodded and put my goggles on, kicking off the floor. Swimming was hard for me, because it needed lots of coordination and strength I didn't really have. However, it was a way to exercise without getting hot and sweaty, so I liked it.

Towards the end, I swallowed some water, starting to splutter. Luke grabbed waist because we were in the deep end, and held me above the water.

"Well that wasn't a good idea,"

"My chest," I gasped, coughing.

"Deep breaths,"

I wrapped my arms round his neck and took deep breaths, desperate to not fall back in the water.