breathe// 5SOS

12

Ava

On Thursday, I refused to go to any lessons. Mr Carter got Harry to see me, Charlie to talk, Sam to see me, and even Julie.

She was supposed to come over after school, but Mrs Lockheart had rung dad and he said she couldn't if I didn't behave and go to lesson.

I thought it was really harsh.

"I'll walk you to maths, and meet you after. It'll be okay,"

"I don't want to go," I mumbled, dragging my feet.

"I know, but sometimes you just have to. It means you can see me ay?"

I turned and hugged her, blinking back the tears. Everyone was already in class, but she knocked for me and sir stepped outside.

"Are you joining us today?"

"I have to,"

"I know it's out of your comfort zone Ava, but all you can do is try your best. It's the end of the day soon,"

"I've not had a good week,"

"I know hun, but you've got to learn. Come in,"

Julie hugged me again, kissing my cheek, then hugging me again.

"It'll be okay,"

"I'll be in the classroom,"

She nodded and walked off, while I walked in with sir. Despite him carrying on with the lesson, everyone was staring, so Owen helped me get my things out.

I tried my best to focus, but it was a new topic, so I struggled a lot. Maths was hard for me to grasp since I'd missed so much- I didn't even know my times tables.

"Ava," sir sat quietly, "can you try the worksheet?"

"I don't get it,"

"I know you listened, at least try number one,"

According to Owen, this was factorising quadratic equations, and I didn't like the sound of that. I didn't know what any of the words meant. The numbers seemed to be a blur, so I hit my head on the desk, deciding not to work.

"Ava," sir pushed, "it's not nap time,"

"Yes it is,"

"Which part don't you understand?"

"The whole thing,"

"Hey," he said, tapping the sheet, "that attitude won't get you anywhere, okay? You are fully capable of this Ava,"

"Please can you explain it on a day I feel better?"

"Perhaps, but we will also do it now,"

"I don't want to be here," I trembled, "I feel really hot, and shaky, and I can't breathe,"

"Then why did you come to class Ava, you know I would've sent you the work,"

"Dad said Julie couldn't come over if I didn't,"

"Oh sweetheart, don't cry. We will work together," he said sympathetically, handing my my water bottle to drink from.

He explained it to me, and helped me do a couple of questions before I tried myself. Though I messed up, I got it in the end, and was pretty proud.

As everyone left the classroom, I waited for Julie, sir taking Owen's seat.

"What you can't do Ava is let yesterday affect today. You had a tough day, but that's ended, and you can wipe the slate clean. I get that some things aren't that easy, and that's when you come before class and talk. If you can take it on the chin and bear it for a lesson, it shows me how much you want to learn,"