breathe// 5SOS

94

Ashton

Luke and I grabbed lunch together at the canteen since it was free for us, and sat at a table in the back. I knew Viola was going to treat Marcus after the therapy appointment, so we had a little time.

It was nice to spend time with Luke without having to worry about Ava, because I knew she was safe with Michael. Not safe as in he looks after her, because all my family would, but safe to talk and express herself because he could handle it.

"The appointment was rough," I hummed, tucking into my food, "I'm sorry,"

"She's alright. Julie made her feel good about herself, and she feels really insecure now that has gone,"

"She's getting better at dealing with challenges though," I nodded, not wanting him to believe she was so upset all the time. She could be overfilled with happiness too, and smile, and laugh- anxiety didn't define her.

For what she'd been through, and for her age, she was incredible.

"Ash, I can tell. She is the healthiest she's ever been. Everything was practically perfect. She might worry about her weight, as we all do, but that was not concerning to me. She is doing great,"

"I don't want to get too confident,"

"If you aren't confident then she won't be either. You need to give her even more because Marcus is there too,"

"He probably needs to see you too huh? He gets very nervous at the dentist, not sure about the doctors,"

"I don't have concerns with him like I did with Ava. We can have him come in his own time,"

"His first therapy session was today," I said quietly, "I hope it went well,"

"I'm sure it will work as well with him as it did with Ava. How has school been for him?"

"Tough, he can be disruptive, settling in is hard. However, he has tried hard to make a positive start,"

"And how is Viola? Coming to eat lunch with your dad each day and seeing his health degrading must be hard,"

"What?"

"He's on a feeding tube now Ash. He isn't going to live much longer,"

"What?"

He looked at me sadly, and took my hand.

"I didn't know she ate lunch there everyday,"

"She probably kept it a secret because she wants to look strong,"

"I would do so much to save him,"

"I know, and that's why she loves you. Finish up so you can get home for them both," 

We ate the food and put the dishes to be washed, then headed separate ways to go home. When I got there, Viola wasn't back yet, so I decided to make us all a little treat.

I melted the chocolate and got the strawberries out as they'd be out of date soon. Then, I covered them all in chocolate and put them to set in the fridge.

I had a shower and got changed into comfy clothes, Viola saying they were heading back. Knowing I had at least twenty minutes, I picked up my phone and decided to facetime Harry- I missed him a lot.

"Ash!"

"Hey bud, how are things?"

"Good. School is really good,"

"I'm glad it is, I hope this year goes well for you,"

"Do I see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll drop Marcus off. Keep him company, and introduce him to everyone- he can be shy,"

"I will, I will. Can I come over after?"

"Well, we will see. Ava is off to Sam's and it has to depend on how Marcus is feeling. The past week has been very hard because he joined a new school and had to settle at home okay?"

"Yeah, it's okay, I'll go home and do homework,"

"You can come afterschool one time,"

"Yeah,"

"I'll talk to you later Haz,"

"Bye,"

I ended the call and turned the tv on, hearing the car pull up not long after. Viola and Marcus walked in, Marcus sitting straight next to me with his head on my chest.

"Was that okay?"

"It was good," Viola answered for him, "but still a lot,"

"Well that's okay bud," I assured, "that's nice,"

"Please can I go to my room? I have homework,"

"Are you capable of doing it right now?" I asked, seeing him shrug, "I don't think so,"

"But I need to do it,"

"Marcus, give it a go for ten minutes, then come back down," mum said, "but your desk and everything is in the conservatory,"

He nodded and squeezed me again, before going upstairs, his head hung.

"What on Earth did he have to talk about?"

"How he's controlled his anger in the past, and the sorts of things he went through. He's been put down but so many people,"

"Anger?"

"I brought it up," she hummed, "he screams at the xbox, he said he'd punch Julie if she spoke to Ava again, and he has a track record of storming out of lessons, swearing at the teacher and fights with other people,"

"He said that?"

She nodded and rested on my shoulder, her hand on her stomach. There was a visible bump starting to show.

"Can you even imagine us having a little baby, our third kid, before we are even thirty,"

"No," she laughed, "I don't want to settle down too early,"

"Nonsense, as we get older, we can still be working and going out,"

"I don't have to be a stay at home mum?"

"Have I ever told you that? We can even split parental leave if you want,"

"I'll take my three months off, then we can figure something out. They can go onto formula milk,"

I kissed her head and put my hand on her stomach too, hoping everything would be okay. I hoped they were strong.

Marcus came back downstairs and hovered for a little, before I opened my arm and he sat down. Suddenly, he started crying.

"I'm a monster,"

"You're not a monster,"

"I am,"

"You've not had the same parents, and different parents have different rules. You need stability growing up, and you don't always get that- we didn't- but it has affected you so we need to help," Viola said, acting as my other arm and rubbing his back.

"You don't have to adopt me, you can send me to another home, it's easy,"

"You're not going anywhere. Let's get in our pjs, get some blankets, and find some films to watch. We can play board games, or play video games, I don't mind, but I know you don't feel like you belong bud, and you do,"

"Our home wouldn't be home without you,"