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I sighed heavily, and looked her in the eyes.

"Colby said that the Council won't take kindly to us being together. To me being his One."

She took my hand in hers, and looked at me sympathetically. "I'm sorry that you guys can't just be happy. It seems like the universe is against you, huh?"

I sighed, and leaned back. "Yeah, it does. But I'm gonna fight back with everything I have in me."

She smiled at me and leaned forwards, wrapping her arms around my neck. "You're gonna be fine. Both of you. Oh! I forgot to tell you!" She sat back with a huge grin on her face.

"What?"

"Sam agreed to me becoming a vampire when I'm ready. I don't know when that will be yet, because I really enjoy it when he feeds on me, and I know that he'll go back to feeding on others when I turn...Not sure how I feel about that."

My head jerked back a little at what she said. "WHAT?! When did you even think you wanted to be a vampire? What the hell happened while I was knocked out? Oh my God, Kat!" I was in shock.

I felt her happiness about it though so I didn't want to bring her down. I didn't even know that she had considered it really.

We didn't have much of a chance to discuss it before I had my memories wiped, and then fell back into a coma, etc.

"Well, aren't you curious about it? Don't you wanna live forever with Colby? With me? With all of them?"

I chewed my bottom lip staring at her, my brows furrowed. It sounded like a dream to me. To be able to live forever, never really getting sick, or hurt.

Being stronger and faster, with 100 times better senses. To stay young forever. To get the chance to love Colby forever.

Could I do it though? I had felt the hunger rip through me when one of them was hungry. It was intense, deadly, feral, and scary as fuck.

I had felt like an actual wild animal with only one thought on my mind. Blood and how I was going to get it. Didn't matter if I hurt or killed someone as long as that hunger, that pain, was satiated.

"I don't know. I want that, for sure. But I don't want to be a monster. I felt it Kat. It was," I shook my head, not knowing how to explain it. "Their hunger for blood is so much worse than I thought it was. I thought it was just like being really hungry but that doesn't even come close to it. It's like..." I searched my brain for a way to try and describe it so that she could understand. "It's like your stomach is being ripped open, draining everything inside of it. You're feeling that pain, that you know that you NEED to fill it back up to live. There is no other way. It's the only thing on your mind, and it has to be done. If you have to kill someone to do it, then oh well. It's actually much worse than that, but my writer's brain is crapping out on me at the moment." I sighed in annoyance with the fact that I couldn't figure out how to explain it.

She patted my shoulder.

"That must have been hard. Feeling that. But you see how well these guys control it. We should be able to do that too, right? Even Sam and Colby, and Corey, can control it with us and Devyn, and they say that's 1000 times worse. That the vampire can only prove that he's worth being with his One by not killing her, no matter how tempted he is."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Where the hell did you hear that?"

She got out of the bed, and walked over to Sam's closet. She opened it, then brought out this huge old book with crazy symbols on it.

"This. I think Sam really likes reading up on old lore and stuff to try and help him figure things out. I got nosy." She said shrugging. "It's pretty interesting actually."

Just then, we heard yelling downstairs and I felt that sadness again so intense, I almost got sick. Kat threw the book back inside the closet, slammed it, and we both ran down the stairs to see what the commotion was. I was going a little slower than her, trying to catch my breath from the intense emotion that I was feeling.

There, standing in front of the door, wrestling with a very familiar vampire, were Sam and Colby.

"Calm the fuck down Elias, we aren't going to hurt you!" Sam yelled as they struggled with their banished vampire friend.

"The fuck, you might not, but he will!" He stopped struggling as Colby glared at him. "It's fine though. I deserve it."

I fell against the wall as I tried to walk closer, and Kat grabbed me around my waist, bringing my arm around her neck. "You okay?"

I nodded, unable to speak, as the sadness and guilt twisted in on me, making me wish that I were dead. That I just didn't exist so that I could escape this awful reality that I was stuck in. I didn't deserve to live after what I had done.

I knew these weren't my feelings but they felt so strong that it was like they were getting twisted with my own and I couldn't think straight.

"Chloe, baby, you okay?" I heard Colby's voice and then felt his strong arms go around me, holding me up.

I couldn't do anything but nod, and sob. I felt Colby's movement, and then my chain go around my neck. It helped a little but honestly, Elias's feelings were just so damn strong, I was still having trouble breathing and I couldn't stop crying.

At least I could tell that those thoughts weren't mine though.

"So, it is him? I thought it might be." Colby breathed against my ear.

I nodded, burying my face in his chest.

"He's so sad Colby. So sad, and regretful. He doesn't want to live." I sobbed out, trying to regain control of myself.

He took a deep breath and then sighed.

"Come on, let me help you to the couch."

I hobbled along with him, letting him bear most of my weight.

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