My Book of Fics

Far Far Away - Daniel Ricciardo

"I wish I never met you"

The words you shout reverberate around the room, a fire in your eyes as you look at the Mclaren driver standing a few feet away from you. His eyebrows raise in shock, the hurt apparent in his dark eyes as the two of you stand in silence. The tension palpable as you start to realize the weight of your words. "Dan" you say in a gentler tone trying to backtrack, "maybe you're right Y/N" he says with a shrug of his shoulders, you watch the emotion leave his eyes, a blank look in them. You look down at your bare feet, moving your toe along the hardwood, "I don't know what's happening to us" you mumble, wondering where everything went wrong for the two of you in the months of being together. You don't wait for his reply as you peer up, "I'm going to grab my stuff and go" you add while wrapping your arms around yourself, he nods but doesn't move as you go to the bedroom where you have spent so much of your time with the Australian race car driver.

You gather all of your things in a record five minutes, and you have to stop yourself from grabbing one of Daniel's shirts knowing that you probably don't have the right to after everything that was said minutes ago. After one last check to make sure you have everything you turn back into the hallway and make your way out of his apartment. As you wait for the elevator a lone tear rolls down your cheek, you quickly wipe it away with your finger telling yourself that it's for the best, and that you were the one that had the final word with your cruel statement, I wish I never met you. The ding of the elevator breaks you out of your thoughts so you sigh and walk in looking anywhere other than the mirrored walls not wanting to see yourself in this moment.

••••

Months pass and you're much worse for wear. Constantly working so that you don't have to feel anything when you think about the state of your love life. You truly thought that being alone would be perfect but your friends can see that it's not what you want. You find yourself taking longer showers so that you can cry in private without getting interrogated about your feelings. Your best friends keep trying to set you up with guys but you never bite because you know that no one could measure up to Daniel no matter how much you pretended.

When you think about how you left things with him guilt surges through your body, knowing that you only said what you did because you were angry. The truth was that you were so grateful that you met him and couldn't imagine a world where you never did. The fact that you don't even remember why you were mad at him breaks you even more, only thinking about the good moments with the Aussie. You wondered how he was holding up, too scared to find out through social media and the internet. After another night of drinking wine with friends while playing a sloppy game of monopoly your ringing phone stops you from going to sleep.

You gasp when you see Michael's name on your screen. After staring at his name for what feels like hours it stops ringing, but re-starts almost immediately. Your brows furrow realizing that it must be important or Daniel's trainer wouldn't be calling in the first place. You answer the call bringing the device up to your ear, "hello?" you ask, "oh thank god" he replies which makes you sit up in concern, "what is it?" he sighs but you hear someone talking in the background, not able to depict what is being said, "shut up man" Michael exclaims, "Y/N when can you get to Monte Carlo?" you blink not expecting the question. "Uhhh I don't know, an hour maybe?" there's another noise on his end making you grow even more concerned, "okay great, maybe Dan will listen to you" he mumbles. "Wait what's going on Michael?" you ask still confused, "he's a mess Y/N" he replies and that's all you need to hear to stand up and grab your car keys the phone still pressed to your ear. "On my way" is all you tell him before hanging up and walking out of the apartment you share with your friends, leaving a note by the door so that they don't get worried.

••••

You manage to get to Daniel's place in just under an hour, not concerned about the few traffic laws you ignored on the way to the Principality.  The streets are still buzzing with locals who are enjoying the evening but you just focus on getting buzzed into the building where the Mclaren driver lives. Once you get let in you run up the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator. Just before you go into the apartment you close your eyes not knowing what you're about to walk into, the worry in Michael's voice earlier running through your mind. When you're ready you place a hand on the door handle, pushing it open slowly, the first thing you hear is the music that is slightly too loud to be enjoyable. You step into the apartment letting the door shut behind you, cringing at the sound it makes. Michael pops his head into the hallway and relief is apparent on his face, he peers over for a second before walking over. "Thanks for coming, I didn't know who else to call" he shouts over the music, you shrug and sink your teeth into your bottom lip, "where is he?" you ask loudly a few seconds later, the trainer tilts his head in the direction and the two of you walk further into the apartment.

When you turn the corner into the living space your eyes widen. The bottles scattered on every surface and the various articles of clothing draped over the furniture make you see how bad it's gotten. Once your eyes land on the very disheveled Daniel your heart sinks, "did I do this?" you murmur while looking over at Michael, "I think it was a lot of different things, racing hasn't been good and people are doubting him, he misses being away from family and he hasn't been sleeping much" he explains. You frown but look back at Daniel who has noticed you, his eyes looking you over slowly. Michael thankfully turns down the music making your chest stop vibrating due to the bass.

The dull state of his usually bright eyes makes you suck in a breath as you take chance in approaching him. "What are you doing here?" he asks without any emotion, you sit on the couch a few feet inches away from the Aussie, "I was worried" you reply, he scoffs, "why? I thought you never met me" you flinch at his tone knowing that you somewhat deserved it. "Everyone is worried Dan, what has gotten into you" he pastes a fake smile onto his face, "nothing, I'm completely fine" you bite your lip not sure how to proceed, but you don't miss the way his eyes zero in on the action.

••••

You decide to take a different approach so you scoot closer to Daniel, before he can move away you place a hand on either side of his face, using your hands to make him look into your eyes. "This isn't you Ricciardo, we both know it" his brown eyes flick to yours something shifting in them very slightly, "I know it's been crap lately but you're fucking amazing at what you do, those idiots that doubt you are trash and the only people that matter are your family, Michael and the team at Mclaren, they all have faith in you and they love you which is why seeing you like this is so painful" he's silent but the way his eyes change gives you hope that the man you fell in love with is still in there somewhere.

His hand goes to your waist, moving his thumb along the fabric of your shirt, the familiar motion makes you smile slightly. "Think about Isaac, you're the most awesome uncle in his eyes and nothing will change that" you add and see the familiar spark appear in his dark eyes at the mention of the little boy he cares deeply about. You lower one of your hands to take his free one, you lift it and press your lips to each pad of his fingers your eyes locked with his, "you matter to me so much Dan, and it breaks my heart to see you doing this to yourself" you murmur between kisses, he blinks a few times and his eyes become glassy. "I love you, god I never said it but I love you so much, and I've regretted leaving every single day for the past however many months it's been" he shifts his hand from your waist up to your cheek. "But you never came back" he murmurs with a frown, "I assumed you'd hate me after what I said" you reply, he shakes his head while looking down, "I don't think I could ever hate you Y/N" you curl your lips into your mouth not letting the spark of hope get you excited. 

Daniel looks up again while he moves his thumb along your skin, you lean into his hand not realizing how much you missed his touch, your eyes shutting on their own accord. "It's been so hard without you" you open your eyes at his statement your emotions holding on by a thread, but a lone tear comes through the barrier, slowly rolling down your cheek. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me Dan" he swipes the tear from your cheek, "then what have we been doing the past few months?" you sigh, "being stubborn" he lets out a laugh which makes you giggle. The Aussie effortlessly hoists you into his lap, "I've loved you for months Y/N, I didn't want to scare you away by telling you" his words make your heart flutter and a smile comes to your face, "you clearly haven't scared me away" he adjusts his hand to hold your neck in place as he presses a gentle and careful kiss to your lips. You feel yourself sink into his body like not a day has gone by since you've kissed him, when he pulls away not a second later he smiles at you, "stay". Your finger latches onto the small chain around his neck like you always used to do, "always" you murmur while looking into his eyes, he pulls you in for a deeper kiss erasing all of your previous concerns when it came to him.