My Book of Fics

Uncertain - Pierre Gasly

When Pierre first asked you to be his girlfriend, there was no hesitation when you said yes. It also didn't hurt that the relationship started during the Formula 1 winter break when you two could be together for weeks at a time. The frenchman swept you off your feet in a matter of days, his contagious laugh and bright smile latching onto your heart like you have never experienced in previous relationships. As pre-season testing approached you couldn't help but grow nervous, unsure of what will happen when he will be gone potentially weeks at a time for racing. Your uncertainty about the long distance must have been apparent because Pierre brought it up, listening to what you were feeling before he told you that he was confident that while it would be hard the two of you would be able to get through it. With promises of calling and texting he left for Spain, making it feel like the honeymoon phase you've been in has finally finished.

••••

Quickly you realize that nights without Pierre have never felt as lonely as they do with him in a whole other country. The first night isn't much to fret about, but when it gets to nearly a week without the Frenchman you start to long for his embrace. Your arms find a pillow to hug hoping that it will somewhat make up for the lack of body heat Pierre usually provides. When that week finally ends you feel like crap, but you knew that at some point he would have to leave to race so you pick yourself up to go back to work the next week.

Somewhere after a few weeks of only seeing Pierre briefly before he's off to another race you get used to the routine. Your uncertainty never leaves about the state of the relationship you have with the Alpha Tauri driver. Every time you see him on TV before or after races the what if's start to cloud your mind, further increasing the uncertainty while you're stuck in one place watching from the sidelines. Whenever Pierre calls you put on a brave face not wanting to worry him with your problems, and it takes weeks of being with the man you care for deeply during the hectic season to realize that love is hard, effort is required to make it work in harder times.

••••

It's the mid season break and you've been looking forward to having Pierre to yourself for a couple of weeks. You're sleeping, your arms holding a pillow close having fallen asleep while waiting for the Frenchman to arrive from Hungary, the latest race location. The curled up position you lay in prevents you from seeing the light shining under the bedroom door, which would've alerted you that Pierre's home. When you feel arms curl around your body a smile comes to your face, kisses are pressed to your shoulder making you giggle quietly. "Chérie I missed you" his deep voice says while you rotate your body in his arms, "I swear I was awake, I must've dozed off" you exclaim while bringing a hand up to trace his scruffy jaw, "pas de problème y/n" you let out a yawn causing him to do the same before he nestles his head into your neck.

Your fingers weave into his dark hair as he presses light kisses to your skin, "you drove so well these past few weeks" he lifts his head and smiles, "I wish you could've been there to see it all live" you smile too bringing a hand up to his cheek, "next race I'll be there" he shifts his body upwards to kiss your lips his arm curling around you to bring you flush to him. When he pulls away slightly you tap his nose with a giggle, "promise?" you nod bringing him into another slow kiss. You pull away and Pierre relaxes into you with a sigh, "je t'aime" (I love you) you murmur boldly, when there's no reply you peer down to see that the Frenchman has fallen asleep a small smile on his face. Your heart warms at the sight as you get into a comfy position while keeping Pierre close, your eyelids dropping in a matter of seconds.

••••

A couple of weeks later you stand in your bedroom an open duffle bag in front of you trying to plan what to bring to Belgium for the weekend. You bite your lip while your forehead crinkles with worry, overthinking all of the outfits you've selected for the trip. The ringing of your phone breaks you out of your thoughts, Pierre's name on the screen makes you smile and accept the FaceTime call. "Âllo ma chérie, comment ça va?" (Hey my chérie, how is it going?) he exclaims happily, you shrug and look at your barely packed bag, "it's going alright" you reply your eyes moving back to your phone screen.

The Frenchman sits up on his end of the call his eyebrows furrowed, "what's wrong?" you sit next to your duffle on the bed sighing, "are you sure that you want me at the race?" his expression conveys shock, "why would you think that I wouldn't want you there?" you bite your lip, every uncertainty in your mind catching up to you, "all of those cameras, me just being the dork that I am, the comparisons between me and the other girls will happen immediately" you explain, voicing the fears you've been hiding from Pierre. "Y/N you have absolutely nothing to worry about, all of the women in the paddock are lovely and they will stick by you through everything, maybe even more than me" you giggle at the last part of his statement, earning a smile from him, "I love you Pierre" his gaze softens, "I love you Y/N, never forget that" you nod and wish that he was right next to you.

That race weekend at Spa-Francochamps turns out to be where all of your uncertainty and doubt go away for the first time. Pierre's reassurance and the support from the other girlfriends keeping you positive as cameras recorded you for the first time as the Alpha Tauri driver's girlfriend. Your love for Pierre only growing throughout the weekend where you could finally see him live in his element.