My Book of Fics

Better Than Feeling Lonely - Daniel Ricciardo

All it took was for Daniel to smile at you to know that you were in big trouble. Meeting him came at a time when you were feeling lonely and were still getting the hang of living in a foreign country with no easy way of getting back to your hometown. The few work friends you made tried their hardest to make it an easy transition and decided that taking you out for an evening was the way to do it. It was just meant to be a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant in the city but it turned into them dragging you to a nearby club. You quickly realized that you were not a fan of the atmosphere, but spotting the Australian Formula 1 driver amongst the crowded space made you forget your dislike of the club. At the time you had no idea who he was, you just knew that there was something about him that had you forgetting about your surroundings.

When your friends noticed how hooked you were they did not fail to literally push you in his direction. They encouraged you to shoot your shot with the handsome stranger as they kept moving you closer to him. You didn't have enough time to respond because you found yourself standing a couple of inches away from him, "take a chance Y/N, you never know what could happen" your one friend whispered before squeezing your arm and leaving into the crowd. Before you could make a run for the exit the man turned and grinned when seeing you, the two of you started talking and you felt your uneasiness disappear, meaning that you let him take you into the sea of bodies to do something resembling dancing, his touch on your body igniting something in you that you haven't felt in ages.

••••

When being with Daniel you felt that loneliness you've been feeling slowly fading away. His overexcited nature around the track and the more calm nature behind closed doors made you forget why you were homesick in the first place. Your friends kept telling you how your mood had changed for the better since meeting Daniel. Sharing a bed with the Australian whenever he wasn't travelling masked the fact that you might've been fooling yourself into thinking that you care for him more than you actually do. You were quick to deny it, because he made you feel something when he was around, and that was something you were missing when you moved away from your hometown.

You started to realize the impacts of your poor judgement a few months into the relationship. Daniel's smiles were wider when he's around you and his hands were always on you in some way, the added attachment worried you. It made you open your eyes to the fact that you might've been stringing him along this whole time, because fake love was better than feeling lonely in your mind. When Michael told you how happy Daniel was that you kept coming to his races, you knew that you couldn't keep doing this to him when you didn't feel the same. You told yourself that you would end it when the day was over, needing to be serious about what was happening.

••••

Daniel is talking about something he heard at the track as the two of you walk into his hotel room. You don't process anything he says, your mind occupied with how you're going to tell him it's not working. "Y/N?" You look up at his concerned tone to see a frown on his face, "what's wrong?" you feel your emotions get the best of you at his innocent question. "It's gonna be okay" he murmurs moving to take you in his arms, you step back and shake your head, "but it's not, because I can't keep doing this to you Dan" you reply sadly, "what are you talking about?" you hang your head feeling like a horrible person, "you make me feel so loved all the time, but I don't feel the way you do, you make me feel less lonely but that's as far as it goes" he sighs making you look up, "since when?" you feel your sight blurring with tears, "since we met" he moves his fingers to his hair with disbelief in his eyes, "i was really struggling to find my place in a new country and city, and meeting you made it feel easier for some reason so I stayed" his hand drops again. "Why didn't you say anything?" you shrug, "I liked being around you, I didn't want to ruin it" he falls silent which is rare for him so you bite your lip.

After a few seconds you sigh, "I'm gonna go, you probably don't want to be with me anymore, I'm sorry for the past few months I wish I could've felt more" you explain and spin around to leave the hotel room. Once you've closed the door behind you, you wipe your wet cheeks and straighten up as you walk to your room, where your bags are already packed for the flight you booked while Dan was on the track. The trip to the airport seems to take hours instead of minutes as you tell yourself that you've done the right thing for him and for you, even though a nagging thought at the back of your mind tells you otherwise. With a shake of the head you shoo away the thought and you step into the airport, bag rolling behind you wondering if your parents will be okay with you showing up on such short notice.

••••

The next few days spent at your childhood home makes you realize how much you needed to take a step back. Somewhere between working remotely and spending time with your parents you start to feel like something, or maybe someone is missing. You try not to let it show that your mood isn't the greatest, pasting a smile on your face when it was necessary so that your mom didn't worry.

During one of your pity parties one evening the doorbell rings but you don't move figuring your parents were expecting someone. When there's a light knock on your bedroom door you slide off the bed and pad over a sigh leaving your lips. What you don't expect when you open the door is Daniel standing there. You blink a few times convinced that you're hallucinating, "how are you here?" you murmur in surprise, "your friends" he replies with a sheepish smile. The expression hits you harder than expected, "why did you come here Dan?" he sighs and shakes his head, "because I love you Y/N and my life without you is boring" you become speechless at his statement opening and closing your mouth unsure of what to say. "But I basically stomped on your heart, how can you love me after that" he chuckles, "fuck I don't know, but what I do know is that I will do everything I can to keep you in my life" you look into his dark eyes not expecting the admission. You sniffle as tears start to blur your vision, his expression becomes one laced with worry and he easily pulls you into his arms, yours going around him your fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt. Daniel holds you tightly as his lips brush over your head, "come back with me beautiful?" you pull back slightly to peer up at him, "I think being away from you made me realize how much I enjoy your company" he smiles and drops his lips to yours, "so you actually like me?" you laugh which makes him do the same, "yeah maybe just a bit" he backs you into your bedroom making a genuine smile come to your face for the first time in a few days.