The Unordinary

My Sweet Little Sister-43

Taliah's Pov

I slowly open my eyes. I don't know when but I must have dozed off with Crys. One of our parents probably picked us off the floor into my bed. What happened is still a bit blurry. I feel a bit better now I just needed to let it out. I can tell Crys is still asleep in my arms so I don't dare to move in case I wake her up. I carefully stroke her hair and pull her close to my heart, I couldn't help it.

We lie there in my bed. So calm. This is what I need. I need more moments like these. Moments of happiness to erase or at least hide the sadness in mine and Crys' life. She's so sweet when she's asleep. Her dark hair is soft and soothes my hands when I carefully stroke it to keep the tears far, far away from my eyes or any other way it could exit. She's my little Crystal.

I hear my sister's sweet murmur and sleep talk. Her lips are soft and slightly ajar. Her cheeks are rosy pink, matching her small lips. I hold her in a tighter embrace. She's so cute and caring. I want to stay here so I can protect her from the outside world, even how difficult it would be.

"Sissy." I hear my sweetest sister sigh. "Tally, I wove you!" she carries on. In her tired, not yet tuned-up-state.

"I love you to my little Crystal!" I whisper next to her ear. I see her chocolate brown eyes looking at me with a careful, playful smile. I smile back, a genuine smile. Not a fake smile that's plastered on my face at all times to support Crys and prevent her from getting worried.

I try to hide my emotion to hide my little sister from the truth. I know I can't but I still try. Sometimes I wonder if I do it just to try and trick myself...maybe I'm not just trying to hide the truth from her but myself...or maybe more myself. Why is my mind so muddled? Why don't I understand myself? Why can't I find the truth? Why do I have these questions come in bursts? Why? WHY? I carry on stroking her hair to calm me. I caress her cheek and gently lay a kiss on her forehead, I feel the tears like a burning sensation. I swallow hard and breath deep breaths.

My sister yawns and stretches to wake herself up, currently, with a mop for hair in the current tangled state. I try to focus on her and lock my thoughts far, FAR away.

I need to be more honest with myself but I don't know how. How are you supposed to be when the truth is a boulder trying to be pushed up a steep mountain. I guess that's why there's a saying that goes 'the truth stings'. The only way to prevent the sting is to try and hide the truth from yourself. Maybe there's a way to lessen the sting so on the long run...you know who you are and when the truth does catch up to you it isn't a bullet to the brain.