feeling unlovable

so... you're really getting married?

VI

Emma smiled as she touched the necklace her mother had given her after they had returned from Felix's house before looking up at her wedding dress that was wrapped in a cover hanging on her bedroom door and she sighed. Walking towards her window, she sat down on the window sill and leaned her head back and looked towards the moon. It was the shape of a nail and Emma giggled, raising her thumb and trying to fit the nail into the moon.

In this moment she seemed to young to be getting married.

Her giggling was cut off as a deep voice interrupted the silence of her room. "So... you're really getting married?"

Marcus.

She sucked in a breath as she turned around to see him leaning against her door, his gaze on her wedding dress before they moved towards her. She sucked in another breath, she had never seen that look in his eyes before.

She watched as his boots dug into her carpeted floor as he walked towards her. His curly hair was pushed back as he ran his hand through it, making it messy. His light brown eyes weren't quite visible to Emma, his pupils took over most of his eyes as his gaze stayed on the girl that started to have trouble breathing. He wore a plain black buttoned shirt, the sleeves were rolled up showing off his muscular arms. One of his arms were completely covered by a tattoo, a tribal tattoo from his father's ancestors. His jaw was set, clenching with every step he took and in that moment. He was different.

He wasn't that cute boy with olive skin that taught Emma how to skate board and how to probably eat an Oreo. He looked like a man to her, like he had matured from the last time she had seen him. Or maybe she was looking at him differently? She didn't seem to notice that Felix hadn't crossed her mind. She was focused on the handsome boy making his way towards her. She didn't compare the two boys, they were both beautiful. Equally.

One who was made of gold.

The other made of cold ice.

Emma turned around until her legs dangled from the ledge of her window. Her big toe brushed the carpet of her bedroom floor as her hand tightened around the framing of the window. Her breathing was hard as the Hispanic boy came closer and time seemed to stop as he laid his hands on either side of her. His scent was strong, heavenly and Emma inhaled it as she leaned forward without meaning too. Marcus looked down at her, his brown like eyes taking in each of her features.

"Who's the lucky guy?" His voice seemed to send shivers down her spine. It wasn't a new feeling but with Marcus, it was different. It seemed more powerful. She pushed the thought of it aside and looked up at him.

"Our parents arranged for Felix and me to be married." Emma whispered as her blue eyes locked with Marcus's. It didn't go unnoticed that Marcus's fist tightened around the frame of the window and that he had clenched his jaw so tightly, Emma thought it might break. A growl of frustration had even escaped his throat. God, his throat! Emma thought as she watched as his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed heavily.

Marcus suddenly chuckled, "Why of all grooms, did you have to marry Felix?" He seemed to be asking himself the question but Emma anyway opened her mouth to answer and like always, Marcus knew what she wanted to say and spoke before. "Yes, Emma. I know that your father is a good friend of his father but his son is a dick and... him marrying you...angers me." His voice deepens, Emma wondered if his voice was ever this deep. That sexy.

"Marcus—"

He suddenly leaned forward and Emma gasped, her lips parting that it brushed Marcus's warm ones. The touch sent an electric shock through her body that her hands came up gripping onto his biceps, fearing she might fall from the window ledge because of the feeling going through her body. Marcus growled as her lips brushed his, they didn't part much and Marcus leaned forward again. His lips softly nipped at Emma's. Soft shocks going through both of them as he slowly eased into the kiss. Emma enjoyed the feeling of Marcus's gentle touches, gentle nips and sucks and she purred as he placed his hands on her hips, pulling her closer.

"Marcus—" she started out of breath but Marcus silenced her by latching his needy lips to hers. Her hand tightened around his arms and he growled, something Emma found incredibly sexy as her nails dug into his skin. His hands left her hips and she whined from the loss of his touch but gasped as he suddenly grabbed a hold of her thighs that were bare from the pajamas short she was wearing. His hands were warm, sending sparks through her skin as he wrapped her legs around his waist and Emma sighed happily as his hungry lips latched onto her neck. Her hands moved from his biceps, slowly towards his neck. Her hands trailing against his skin, her touch burning a trail of heat against him through the material and he moaned as her hands lost its way into his soft brown locks.

He turned around, and laid the girl he had dreamed about since the second grade onto her bed. He stood up and looked down towards her. His eyes held so much lust and love and Emma had gasped and her eyes, they were like diamonds to Marcus. He kept his gaze on the girl that breathed heavily in front of him as he pulled off his shirt. His muscles that he worked hard for flexing as he moved and Emma's eye widened as she sat up. She had never seen Marcus shirtless before, well she had but she had never viewed him in this way. Marcus smirked as her hands came up tracing his skin before she left his skin and watched him carefully as he pulled off her tank top. The cold air from the open window hardened her nipples and she gasped as she realized she didn't have a bra on.

She moved to cover herself but Marcus growled warningly and she looked up at him shyly but something warm fluttered in her chest as he smiled and slowly leaned down until his body was nested between her legs. Her breathing caught as Marcus laid a soft kiss between her breasts, whispering how beautiful she was under his breath and she sighed happily as he laid his naked chest onto hers and kissed her neck that pulsed with her beating heart. Her hands suddenly pinned to the top of her head and Marcus's hungry mouth brought quiet moans from the girl under him as he latched onto her nipple. Emma couldn't control the sounds that left her mouth and as Marcus started grind to his hard member against her core.

She finally came back to her senses, releasing uncontrollable moans from the friction between them. She sat up and flipped the two of them over until she was looking Marcus in the eyes and their hips stilled. "I can't Marcus."

His eyes darkened and a look of desperation took over his face. But it wasn't a look for a need of sexual release but to just be with Emma. To hold her, to tell her the feelings he hid because he knew she loved another. She kissed his lips one last time, they lingered together before Emma leaned back. "I– want to but I'm getting married tomorrow and if we ever did make love. I want it to be different, I want us to be different." Emma sighed and sat up, pulling her discarded tank top onto a her body. "But it can't ever happen, I promised my parents and Felix's parents that I would marry Felix and I won't turn them down the last minute. It means so much to them."

Marcus sat up and kissed her neck and smiled as Emma turned back to look at him. "I've always been willing to wait, I've seen waiting since the second grade."

"No—" Emma started but Marcus cut her off with a kiss on the shoulder.

"I don't care if you're married, I'll love you. I don't care if you love him, I'll love you with every part of me. But know this, he can never love you the way I do." Marcus whispered in her ear and before she could respond. He kissed her.

He kissed her hard, knowing that that might be their last kiss. He kissed her forehead one last time before he left the room and Emma couldn't help but bring a blanket around her now cold body. Wondering if Marcus was her chance at happiness.