feeling unlovable

i can't lose them both

LXXXIII

Emma felt her heart beating faster as Marcus raced down the busy roads towards the hospital.

It didn't feel as if her heart was beating inside her chest, she felt as if she was floating as everything went in slow motion as she raced into the hospital. She couldn't hear anything as she looked around and her eyes locked on Felix who sat in chair, his head in his hands as his shoulders lightly shook and she turned towards Marcus who told her to go while he held Damon tightly to his chest.

Emma turned towards Felix who raised his head to look at her and Emma felt her heart break at the broken look across Felix's face. Ever since Felix had been born, he had always had a special bond with his father. They had always been close and if Emma wasn't around, Felix would have admitted that his father was his best friend.

Emma knew that losing his would hit him the hardest.

Emma moved towards him and threw her arms around him as he held his arms out for her. He cried into her chest, his hands fisted her coat as soft sobs left his mouth, sobs that broke Emma's heart slowly. Emma looked up to see Olivia standing in front of the door of Bennett's room while her sister, Mary rubbed at her back in comfort.

Felix leaned away from Emma as Emma whispered into his ear, "What happened?"

Felix looked down at his lap before he looked up towards Marcus who sat down on his other side and gripped his shoulder. "I was in the office when I heard my mom shouting. When I walked into the room, he was on the floor and he wasn't breathing and he couldn't walk. When the ambulance came, his breathing was under control but his heart was weak. When we came to the hospital, they put him into a sleep so he could heal but the doctor informed us that there was a chance that he wouldn't make it through the night."

Emma nodded her head and looked towards Olivia, "What are they waiting for?"

"For him to wake up. Doctor says we should say our goodbyes and my moms not sure if she can do it."

Emma looked towards Felix and stood up and walked towards Olivia, "Olivia?"

The older woman turned towards her and quickly walked away from the door and wrapped her arms around Emma, "I'm so glad you came."

"Are you okay?"

Olivia moved to smile but a loud sob left her and she shook her head, wrapping her arms around Emma again and sobbed into her shoulder, "I might be old, Emma but I'm not ready for him to go."

Emma nodded her head and pulled Olivia towards a chair and let her sob into her chest as Marcus talked with Felix, trying to distract him from having to wait for his father to wake up.

"I can't lose them both."

Emma froze as she turned to Olivia to see her gaze on Felix. After finding out that Felix had cancer, Olivia had been extremely fragile. Felix had said he had caught her crying a couple of times in secret before she sobered up and placed a smile on her face. He said the sight hurt him more then anything to see her hurting while she tried to keep him and her husband happy.

Emma looked down at Olivia and pulled her attention towards her, "They're both so strong."

Olivia nodded, "But the cancer is strong too."

Emma couldn't find the words to calm down the woman in front of her so all she could do was hold her as she cried. Emma looked across the room to see Marcus getting up and walking towards her and laid a kiss across Emma's forehead, "I'm going to get some coffee." Emma nodded before she smiled towards Marcus who pecked her lips, "Damon fell asleep the minute he hit Felix's arms."

Emma smiled and watched as Marcus walked down the hall towards the cafeteria before she turned and her eyes locked with Mary's who sent her hard a glare.

<><><>

Marcus smiled as he pointed towards the donuts he wanted before he moved to pay. "Cash or credit?"

"Cash." Marcus answered as he pulled his cash from his jacket and handed it towards the man behind the counter. Marcus smiled as he placed the change back into his wallet and picked up the coffee, "I'll come back for the donuts."

Marcus quickly made his way towards the elevator and towards Emma who happily accepted the coffee. Felix drunk the coffee in seconds while Olivia sipped lightly as she sat outside of the hospital room. Apparently no one was allowed into the room until the doctors were done with all their checkups.

Making his way back down to get the donuts, Marcus bumped into a woman he had seen earlier comforting Olivia. Marcus was sure her names started with an M.

"Hello, I'm Marcus. You must me... May?"

The woman smiled as she stepped into the elevator before Marcus pressed the button to move to the ground floor, "Close, it's Mary. I'm Olivia's sister."

Marcus nodded, "Yeah, you look like her."

Mary smiled, "I've never seen you before."

Marcus stuck out his hand, "You know my name but I'm Emma's boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? She moved on fast after her divorce."

Marcus pulled his lips into a straight line, "I've known Emma and Felix since I was eight and I dated Emma in high school before I moved to New York to study. But you didn't need to know that."

Mary shook her head, "No, but it was nice getting to know you."

Marcus nodded, stepping out of the elevator and his eyes widened as the woman stepped out with him, "I'm sure I've heard your name before... from Olivia."

Marcus shrugged, walking up to the counter and smiled towards the man as he handed him the donuts. He hid his surprise when he turned around only to jump back at the sight of Mary standing right behind him. "Olivia had mentioned you a while back. Something about a lake house vacation."

Marcus couldn't help but blush at memories and he looked away fast as the woman gave him a questioning look. "Emma took our friends and me up to a lake house before graduation."

Mary nodded, her lips forming into the shape of a O before her next question came tumbling out. "I think I heard Olivia saying Emma's living with you now?"

"Yes for about half a year now."

Mary nodded again, "And Damon?"

"Damon is very attached to Emma, his a momma's boy. He wouldn't go anywhere without Emma, so he's been living with us."

"And what did Felix say about this?"

"He help design his nursery and find the house..." Marcus turned towards the woman, "Look lady, not to be disrespectful but you're asking a lot of damn questions which isn't your business. I'm pretty sure your name is still May—" Marcus didn't get the finish as Emma came running towards him from the elevator.

"Emma?" Marcus poured as he looked down at the donuts had had wanted to keep a surprise before his head snapped up at the next words that tumbled from his girlfriend's mouth.

"Bennett's awake!" Emma couldn't take the smile off her face as she grabbed onto Marcus's hand and tugged him towards the elevator.