feeling unlovable

why don't you tell me what you've been hiding?

LXXIV

Felix felt his heart drop but he softly whispered towards her, "Okay."

Emma's eyes widened, "Okay? How can you just say okay?"

Felix chuckled, "Emma, I know you're not in love with me and I know that you're not completely happy."

Emma sighed, "I do love you, Felix."

Felix smiled, "I know you do, but you're not in love with me. You're in love with Marcus."

Emma looked down at her lap, "I thought we were meant to be."

Felix cupped her cheeks, "Hey, hey. I know, I thought it to but we only thought that because our parents told us that since we small.  Sometimes things just don't work out."

Emma looked up at Felix, "Why are you taking this so well? I thought you would throw a fit, telling me how I belong to you and that I can't leave."

Felix chuckled, "I'm not a dick." Felix shook his head, "Okay, I am but I would never let you stay here because I'm a selfish asshole."

Emma looked at him suspiciously, Felix sighed cupping her face in his hands, "Emma, I care for you... more then you know and being with you has made me see things differently. Like how sometimes letting the people you love go it a good thing."

Emma sighed, taking her face out of her husband's hands,Felix frowned as he looked down at her, it hurt to hear her ask for the divorce. But he had to give it to her. He was in love with her, he couldn't hurt her more then he had already and he would be an even bigger dick to keep her married to him when he would die in a few years.

But he couldn't possibly tell Emma his real reasons for agreeing. He just had to act like it wasn't a big deal. He was the asshole Felix who cared about no one, what's wrong with hiding his feelings?

He kissed her cheek, drawing her attention to him. She whispered softly, "Marcus is getting married."

Felix froze, "I know."

Emma looked up at him, "You knew?!"

"I found out this morning." He told her, a bit guilty, "I was going to tell you but I couldn't after we were getting along like we use too."

Emma sighed, choosing to not argue and took his hand into hers, "You are my best friend."

"And I'm okay with being just that, Emma. We've been just that for five years."

"That's our entire marriage."

Felix chuckled, "See, it will be like we're still married."

Emma smiled, "I'll move out after we sign the papers."

Felix laughed hard, "Like I'll let you move out."

Emma turned to Felix with a glare, "Felix." She hissed out but he shushed her.

"You're staying here, nothing you say or do will make you agree to letting you move out."

"Felix, we're going to get divorced! If you need me to explain what divorce means, I'll happily search—"

Felix rolled his eyes, "Emma, you're staying here."

"We can't stay in the same bed."

Felix bit his lip, "I'll move to another room."

Emma moved to protest but Felix took a hold of her bottom lip between his fingers, "Just shut up, this is a mansion. I could move to the fifth floor if it makes you happy."

Emma glared up at him, tugging at her lip that Felix let out a small smile, "Felix, you not understanding—"

"No, Emma. You're not understanding. Damon is two months old which means he isn't yet familiar too our faces, our scent or our touch and with me going on business trips and working in the office. I would like to come home and see my son without having to worry about what time he has to leave or what time I have to return home. I would like to be there for moments in person instead of seeing it over a video you sent me. Yes, we might be divorced but there is no difference. All that will be different is that I'm in another bed."

Emma bit her lip and looked away before she locked eyes with Felix, "Fine, I'll stay but you can't be touchy."

"Touchy?" Felix asked with a smirk.

"Yes. No more holding me by my waist..."

Felix chuckled, "Yes, yes. I understand, but you never know, we might be that couple that sneaks around."

Emma rolled her eyes, hitting his chest. Felix laughed before he laid his head against hers. Emma glared at him, "And we can't do stuff like this."

Felix rolled his eyes, "We did this as kids also, I don't see the difference now. Well, expect that you got all blushy."

Emma hit his chest, "Why are you teasing me all of a sudden?"

"Because Emma, we're best friends now which means I get to tease you and call you names."

Emma smiled at him, "Since we're best friends and all best friends don't keep secrets. Why don't you tell me what you've been hiding."

Felix froze from under Emma before he yawned loudly, "It's getting late, we should get to bed."

Emma sighed as Felix lowered them to the bed and laid his arm around her waist. "You can't do that also."

Felix groaned loudly into her hair, "Can't I have one night without you yapping about my arm."

Emma huffed before she twisted around that she faved Felix. He felt her breath against his chin and opened one eye to stare down at her, "What now?"

"Will you tell me your secret when you're ready?"

Felix sighed, he had to tell her at some point but he didn't want to seem weak in her eyes. He didn't want to see her look at him differently, with pity. Felix closed his eyes and nodded his head, "There's no secret."

Emma laughed, "Yes there is."

Felix groaned, "Fine, I'll tell you when I'm ready but will you shut up and sleep. I'm tired and you keep talking."

Emma frowned at him, "You're going to miss our night talks when you're sleeping alone."

Felix smirked before he felt Emma turn around and face her back to him as he spooned her. Emma looked towards the window wall of their room and looked towards the stars.

And while she rose her hand and laid it over Felix's, rubbing it softly she looked towards her phone before picking it up and swiping it open and towards her gallery. Swiping past pictures of Damon, she looked towards the ones of her and Marcus and looked towards the letter that sat on her dressing table and sighed.

Knowing that thinking about going to his wedding had come to an end.

<><><>

It's a little chapter, nothing big.

Sorry, will try to update soon!