feeling unlovable

you're the one whoring around

XXXV

Emma gasped as she woke up. She looked up to see Felix looking over her, after arriving at home. He had marched up to their bedroom and threw his wife onto their bed causing her to wake with a start. "Felix?" Emma asked confused. Last she remembered she was at Marcus's to meet his parents.

She wondered whether it happened or not? Looking down at Marcus's sweater, she confirmed the dinner had actually happened except she wasn't supposed to be with Felix. She was supposed to be in Marcus's bed while he went to get himself a glass of water. "Yes, it's Felix. Your husband."

"Why am I here?" Emma asked as she slowly leant up and kneeled on their bed. Felix glared towards her as she looked at him with that innocent confused look.

"Because I came to fetch you from Marcus."

Emma gasped, "H—How did you know?"

"Alex took a turn by to see his mother to find no Emma. And you're not that great at sneaking a dress into your bag."

Emma cursed herself, "I don't know what's the big fuss is about, I told you from day one that me and Marcus would be together."

Felix growled towards her, hating that she was right but she was his and he chose who was right and wrong. "But you are still my wife and you will tell me where the fuck you are at all times."

"Where were you yesterday, Felix? I fell asleep without you by my side!"

Felix jaw clenched, "I was with Alex."

"At a bar! I had no indication of where the fuck you were so why is it different for me?"

"Because you're the one whoring around with Mar—" Felix didn't get to finish his sentence, before his head was snapped to the side from the impact of Emma's hand. Felix wiped his mouth and turned to Emma who had her hand over her mouth in shock. His jaw clenched as he processed that his wife had smacked him. "I— I didn't mea—"

Emma gasped as Felix charged towards her, taking a hold of her wrists and pinning it at each side of her face. Emma turned her head away from Felix as he glared towards her, she was scared. She didn't know what he would do, she felt so vulnerable under him.

Felix pushed himself off of Emma after hearing her whimper from under him. The side of her face was pressed into the mattress as she tried to get away from him. Her eyes were tightened shut and her hands into fists, they had started shake under his grip.

He gulped as Emma turned her head and looked up at him scared. He quickly stood from the bed and walked towards their bathroom. He striped and stepped into the shower and stood under the shower as the water powered over him.

He didn't know why he did what he did but seeing Emma look at him like that. Like he was a monster, she had been so scared that she flinched when he looked at her. He wouldn't of done anything to hurt her, yet him himself wasn't sure if he would of stopped. He wanted to hurt her, show her that she shouldn't disobey him but he didn't want to do it like this.

He didn't think he would ever be able to scar Emma's skin.

Tears flowed from his eyes as he pictured her eyes again, pictured her laying under a tree lifeless, picturing those boys trying to hurt her, picturing Kaila and the man she was with, beat her.

He cried as he thought of himself being part of that group, part of the group that had Emma crying just thinking about them. The group that haunted Emma at night.

He was her husband, a fact he promised not to mention out loud because he didn't want to accept it. He didn't understand why seeing Emma with Marcus brought this feelings about. Seeing her love someone else when she had loved him for all these years turned his world upside down. It was an advantage for him, knowing she would take him back even after he had hurt her all those years ago.

Now he didn't have any advantage, she completely forgot about him. He's no longer the man she loves but the man she was forced to marry. And Felix hated feeling like he wasn't first choice.

Walking out of the bathroom, and pulling on a pair of boxers from his closet. He walked towards his bedroom to find Emma already sleeping. Instead of laying over most of the bed, she was curled into a ball at the side of the bed. Felix slowly walked towards the bed and laid down.

He brought out his hand to pull her to his side but she seemed to feel it, and leaned away. Felix retreated his hand and decided not to hold her tonight. He pulled the blanket over Emma and turned to lay on his side, this time he faced Emma's back and sighed.

<><><>

Emma hadn't said a word since the morning as the next day began. When Felix woke up, he was alone in bed and got up to find Emma showered, dressed and eating her breakfast at the table with Bennett and Olivia. His father had given him a questioning look when Emma did not make eye contact with him, his mother had looked towards the red mark on Felix's cheek.

"What happened to your cheek, son?" Bennett asked as he looked towards his son. Felix spares a side glance to see Emma acting like no one had spoken. She kept eating her toast.

"Umm... Emma and I... we had a little argument last night."

Bennett laughed, shaking his head as he dug back into his breakfast.

"Emma gave you a blue eye?"

Felix bit his lip. No, that was Marcus.

After breakfast, the two had taken off to Felix car. They were five minutes into the drive when Felix groaned and decided to break the silence. "Are you angry at me? Or..." Felix flinched as he said it, "scared of me?"

Emma didn't look towards him, rather gazed out of the window. Felix took a deep breath before asking, "Did... I remind you of those boys?"

Emma's head snapped towards him and she sighed, "No, you didn't. I just... I'm scared of what could of happened and if it will ever happen again."