feeling unlovable

oh god, don't tell me you're in love with emma too

LVII

Aiden's eyes widened before he rolled them, used too Felix's attitude. Emma glared towards Felix, "He came to see if you're okay! And he helped you when you were coughing out blood and couldn't breath, you should be thanking him."

Felix glared towards Aiden, a clear sign that he wasn't going to thanks anyone. Emma huffed and raised her hand to point at Felix warningly, "Felix—"

"It's okay, Emma. Don't worry about it, is it okay if I can speak to him alone?" Aiden said, interrupting her.

Emma nodded, giving Felix a stern glare as she stood up and made her way towards the bedroom door. She pointed towards his yogurt bowl, giving him another stern look before existing the room.

Aiden bit his lip as he ran his fingers through his blonde hair before he sat down on the edge of Felix's bed. "What did you want to talk about?" Felix asked as he pushed around the fruit in his bowl as he looked towards his old friend.

Aiden turned to look towards Felix before he sighed, "I wanted to say sorry about slipping up to the principal that you and Emma were married four years ago."

Felix chuckled, "I wasn't even upset that you told the principal. If you hadn't, Emma would have pushed back telling people about us being married."

Aiden nodded an, "Oh." slipping from his lips as he chuckled to himself.

"I know we stopped being friends after I called Emma hot... but—"

Felix laughed, "I know what's happening here... if you expect us to become friends again, you're wrong."

Aiden glared towards Felix, "And why can't we?"

"Because asswipe, you wouldn't have shown up at my house if it wasn't for me having cancer. Just because I might die in a couple of years, doesn't mean you can slip back into my life."

"Okay... after you left me in the road that night, I still wanted to be your friend. I was just petty with anger and jealous of you and Emma."

Felix groaned, "Oh god, don't tell me you're in love with Emma too."

Aiden laughed, "No! I'm not in love with her, she's sexy but I don't love her. I was just always jealous, that you had this perfect rich life while I was struggling at home."

"You know for a fact it wasn't perfect." Felix hissed out as he stared at his 'friend'.

"I was selfish. Jealous. I didn't think about your problems."

Felix didn't say anything as Aiden had started talking again, "I— I'm not coming back into your life because you have cancer. After seeing you that day in the hospital, I just finally got the balls to actually ask if we could be cool again."

Felix bit his lip as he looked down at his yogurt he hadn't touched since Emma left, "We're cool."

Aiden smiled, standing up as he pulled Felix into an hug. Felix awkwardly taped his back before pushed him off as he heard giggles at the door. Emma smiled as she saw the sight in front of her, "I came to check if you didn't attack each other. I'm glad to see you too made up."

Felix rolled his eyes, a small smile playing at his lips. "You should stay over, Aiden. Alex and Beckie just called, they are coming over for a late night swim in the indoor pools."

Aiden nodded his head before turning to Felix who have him a small smile.

<><><>

Beckie giggled as Pete jumped into the indoor heated pool with her on his back. Emma smiled from a bench as she watched them. Felix laid next to her, his head on her lap as she ran her fingers through his hair. He had fallen asleep an hour ago. His head had somehow ended up in her lap and he had hand placed her hand on his head, indicating for her to massage his sculp.

Over the past few months and after Felix being in the hospital, Emma had grown closer to Felix. Not romantically but she finally had her best friend back. The boy that smiled when she showed him attention. The boy that lit up when she gave him his favorite food. And he was that boy that wanted to be around her.

Maybe it was the fear of losing him or the fear of seeing him so weak that had Emma watching his every move. Staying by his side to make sure he was okay.

Alex laughed as he looked towards Aiden that had dived into the pool, this time slamming his chest hard against the water that he cried out in pain. Alex's girl of the week sat at the stairs of the pool, floating by herself as she watched Alex throw Beckie across the pool towards Pete.

Felix groaned, turning in his sleep as he looked up at Emma who was smiling as she watched her friends. He slightly smiled as he watched her before he sat up, causing Emma to look at him wide eyed as he leant in and locked eyes with hers. She sat frozen as he leant in, his nose stroking hers affectionately as his eyes lowered to look down at her lips.

His eyes suddenly snapped to hers as he leant in, Emma stared at his lips and before she could move away, water splashed across them, causing Emma to jumped up as water poured over them and she looked up to see Alex laughing to himself evilly as the water poured down the angry couple. Felix suddenly stood up, his nostrils flaring angrily as his fists clenched.

He couldn't help but think that maybe that was his only shot at having Emma fall for him. To have Emma forget about Marcus. That this was a fairytale and a kiss fixed everything, but he thought, just maybe it would make his journey of having Emma fall for him easier. That the kiss could have started his journey, make it easier.

"What the fuck was that for?!" Felix hissed out as he glared towards Alex, whose eyes widened at Felix's sudden change in mood.

Felix moved to make his way towards Alex, when Aiden. who had hurried from pool, grabbed his shoulder. "Don't."

Felix turned to glare at Aiden when he sighed in defeat. Aiden's eyes said it all. Felix wasn't who he was a few years ago. He had cancer. He was weak. He stepped back from Aiden and left the pool, storming to his bedroom where he collapsed onto his bed and buried his face into his hands.

Should he really make Emma fall for him when he'd die in a couple of years?

Felix couldn't help but let a tear fall from his eye.

Would he never be able to have children?

He shook his head, lifting his head from his hands roughly wiping at the tear from under his cheek. He was going to have children. He was going to give his father and mother something they've always wanted. He'd give Emma something of him.

Just one child. Just one opportunity to raise something in his life that wasn't a complete fuck up.

Just one child. Something that was apart of him and Emma. He smiled at the thought.

Just one child. God, just give me one child.