feeling unlovable

i'm here for you

E P I L O G U E

Damon didn't really understand what was happening and why all these people were at his home but he didn't complain. They distracted mommy,  who had broken down an hour ago as they lowered his father into the ground.

Mommy had written daddy one last goodbye but she couldn't say one word without breaking down and her legs had given out as she tried to wake up towards the coffin. Marcus had to hold her all the way as she shook in his arms. Marcus didn't cry like mommy but Damon had seen the silent tears that flowed down his cheeks.

Damon lowered his eyes, he had seen Marcus's a break down the night daddy had died. Emma had had to be sedated due to her having a panic attack after Felix had been announced dead and when Marcus had lowered his wife into a bed, he had broken down. Angry silent tears flowing down his face as he threw punches against one of the hospital room halls until his hand was bruised and two of his fingers were broken. Damon tugged at the bandage around Marcus's fingers.

Looking up at Marcus, he wasn't surprised to see his eyes and nose red, the color was a common thing now in the Valentino house.

Damon didn't understand why daddy had to go. Daddy was his hero and heroes were not supposed to die but daddy did and it crushed Damon. They still had to go on many adventures that daddy had promised he would take Damon on. But daddy was off having an adventure by himself.

Damon wanted to know why mommy and Mars cried so much and why grandma didn't show up. But he was too young to fully understand the loss of a parent. He still hoped daddy would show up at the doorstep after leaving the "spaceship" he was lowered into the ground in. And Damon still hoped he'd get surprise presents from daddy who would still smile so wide and kiss his forehead before he left.

Emma was scared Damon would forgot those special moments as he grew older.

Damon was scared he'd forget his father. That his mother would forget him but right now. All he wanted was to go away from everyone who looked down at him with sympathy every time he sniffled.

He turned away from the entrance of his home, letting go of Marcus's hand to run towards his bedroom only to stop at the sound of sobbing. He turned towards the guest room and he slowly reached forward, pushing open the door to see his mother curled up against a corner of the room, squeezed up against a wall with her knees up to her chest and her face buried between her legs as she tried to trap the loud sounds that left her.

Damon slowly closed the door and ran over to mother who had looked up at the sound of someone entering and started crying harder yet she tried to wipe at her tears. Her lap was filled with a few of Felix's suit shirts that she had promised to wash for Felix when he had asked her so kindly to a week before he had passed. She had forgotten but she didn't bother to care, it was the only way for her to smell his scent.

And Damon's heart broke at the sight of his mother clutching onto them. "Momma don't cry." He whispered, allowing Emma to pull him into her arms as she kissed his forehead.

"I'm sorry, my baby. I should be strong for you."

Damon shook his head, "It's okay, momma. I'm okay."

Emma shook her head, "I wish we both were but losing daddy...I just can't handle all this pain, baby. He was a part of mommy, you know."

Damon nodded, "Daddy wove you very much."

Emma smiled, "Yes and he loved you even more."

Damon grinned, shaking his head, "Imwossible"

Emma chuckled, kissing her son's forehead before gazing down at his sparkling green eyes, "So much like him."