feeling unlovable

why the fuck are you smiling?

LXXXVI

Felix took a deep breath as he stepped out from his house and announced to his mother that he was leaving. She kissed his forehead and walked back into the kitchen that was always filled with her friends. She was distracting herself and Felix couldn't blame her. He was trying to distract himself as well.

He had started to work from home because he couldn't leave the house. He'd panic and run towards his room, locking himself in so that the cigarettes and alcohol in his office couldn't mess with his mind.

He tried to keep to Emma's words, knowing that smoking and drinking was bad for his health but it helped him deal with grieving. If that made sense.

He hasn't left his house since the funeral and that was a few months back and since Damon's second birthday was coming up. He promised Emma he'd try to walk outside with out panicking every day so he'd be ready for all the people that was going to be that the party.

Felix sighed as he started to walk down the gravel road of the park that was a short cut into town. His hands were clenched inside his jeans pockets as he breathed deeply and his eyes shut tightly as he neared the town, the sounds of people speaking making his heart beat faster and his breath come in sharp gasps and when he slowly opened his eyes, he was in the middle of the little shopping center of the town. Girls ran around, bags hanging from their arms while waitresses worked around, serving people in the small cafeteria in the middle of the town's shopping centre.

Looking up, Felix sighed as he saw birds fly over him before he looked around until his eyes froze on a jewelry store and Felix's body moved on it's own towards it until the door pushed open and he was enveloped in a soft melody playing through the little shop. No birds or customers pushing against him.

"Marcus?"

The man slowly turned and his eyes widened at the sight of Felix before a smile came to his face and he stepped away from the counter and pulled Felix into a hug, "Emma was going to take a turn up there later so you could see Damon. How is it going?"

"Good. I'm finally out of the house and it's—"

"Hard?"

Felix turned towards Marcus and nodded his head, "Yeah, it's hard. So... what are you going here?"

A blush came across Marcus's cheeks and he shrugged, "Oh, nothing. Just looking around—"

"Mr. Valentino? I found a smaller size for the engagement ring you were interested."

Marcus froze while Felix slowly turned to look over his shoulder towards a woman you held a tray in her hands and Felix slowly turned to Marcus who was looking towards his feet and Felix bit his lip. Sure, it hurt to see Emma with Marcus but it also brought Felix joy to see Emma so happy and with that in mind, he walked towards the tray and took it from the woman hands and placed it down on the counter.

"Felix?"

"I've come to accept that Emma's in love with you and I want her to have everything she wants and that's you so I'll help you get the perfect ring."

Marcus smiled, sighing in relief , "Thanks." He had feared that Felix would would react badly to the news of him planning to propose.

Felix lifted the side of his lips into a small smile before he looked down at the rings but Marcus shook his head, "It looks even worse up close."

Felix rose his eyes to look towards the woman who brought the rings to the two of them and he chuckled at her horrified expression. "You're being picky?"

Marcus looked down at Felix and nodded, "I want it to be perfect and the ring has to be special."

Felix bit his lip before turning to the woman, "Thanks for the help but your rings won't do." He turned to Marcus who apologized to the woman and turned to me, "I need a ring."

"And I have one for you."

Marcus immediately shook his head but Felix chuckled, "Come to my place, I'm sure you'll like this ring."

Marcus sighed and followed Felix.

<><><>

"You really need to clean up in here, Felix." Was the first thing Marcus said the minute Felix opened the door to his office causing Felix to send Marcus a glare over his shoulder.

Marcus rose his hands in surrender and walked further into office, picking up papers as he went along, "So... where's the ring?"

"There's no ring. You're not marrying, Emma because she's only ever going to be my wife. You're just a distraction since I'm going to pass on soon."

Marcus's nostrils flared as he turned towards Felix, his fist clenching before he froze as he looked towards the stupid smile across Felix's face, "Why the fuck are you smiling?!"

"Because it's easy to mess with you." Felix chuckled and walked towards his desk and pulled open a draw and picked a box from inside and walked towards Marcus who glared towards him.

"It was a joke, Marcus."

"Yes and it was fucking hilarious." Marcus drawled our sarcastically.

Felix rolled his eyes and handed the ring towards Marcus, "Here."

Marcus opened the box before his eyes widened, "No way! I can't accept this! This looks expensive and I might have money but not that much."

Felix shook his head and placed the ring back into Marcus's hand, "It's yours."

Marcus looked towards Felix confused, "My dad told me about it at the hospital. He wanted me to give it to you." Marcus looked down at the ring, "Why?"

"When your mom found out she was pregnant with you, she was afraid she wouldn't be able to raise you because she didn't have enough money, even with her marrying Junior."

"How do you know—"

"I'm rich and nosey, I like to snoop around in people's business."

Marcus rolled his eyes, "Anyway..."

"Anyway, your grandmother sold her wedding ring to my dad for extra money to raise you."

Marcus looked down at the ring, "So... this is Abuela's?"

"Yes, that's...Abuela's." Felix sent Marcus a confused look before looking towards the ring and Marcus's face. "So, what do you think?"

Marcus smiled and Felix gasped as his arms wrapped around him in a tight grip, "Thanks, Felix. This is perfect. I know she'll love it."

Felix smiled and couldn't help but feel again that if he did died, Emma would be good hands. "Don't mention it, I'm glad to help."

Marcus looked away from the ring to study Felix's face, "You sure you're okay with this? Because if you aren't—"

Felix rose his hands softly and shook his head, "Marcus, other then Damon and my mom, Emma's the most important person to me and seeing her happy makes me happy. And she's happy with you."

Marcus smiled softly, before pulling Felix into another hug.