feeling unlovable

it's best to say your goodbyes before

XCVII

Emma remembered the feeling she got when she received that phone call that Felix was in hospital a few years ago. She remembered the fear and the adrenaline going through her body as she raced to see him.

Emma hated that the feeling she felt now tripled. She hated what she felt at this moment as Marcus held her hand as they raced after the ambulance truck they road behind. She couldn't feel her heart racing anymore but she knew it was. All she felt where her tears staining her dress and Damon's fist clutching at the material.

After crying from the pool and still as they drove towards the hospital, Damon had started to fall asleep. His lips were pulled into a small frown and his eyebrows were knitted together, small wrinkles across his forehead as he slept. Emma knew that he wasn't relaxed.

She ran her fingers through his blonde hair as she kissed his forehead. Marcus shook his head and looked towards Emma, "I told Felix is was a bad idea to get into the pool but he looked so happy and I—"

Emma squeezed Marcus's hand and shook her head, "Don't, Marcus. It's not your fault, him and Damon were so happy before it happened. I'm glad that Felix and Damon got to share that with each other."

Marcus nodded, "I just hate seeing you and Damon cry like this."

Emma sighed, deciding just to squeeze his hand as she gazed out of the window, "Do you think it's serious?"

Marcus bit his lips, "I don't know."

<><><>

Damon couldn't understand what that big door meant, all he knew was that his grandmother was inside with his daddy and he could hear her crying. Mommy said he could see Daddy soon but he was scared, what if daddy blamed him for bleeding?

Damon turned his head, his small chubby hand coming up so he could suck on his thumb as he saw his mommy sitting on a chair, her eyes were red and so was her nose. She looked funny but still pretty.

Damon looked up at her, his big green eyes wide as he slipped over to her and tugged at her finger. Her blue eyes casted up from her lap, sparkling as she looked down at him, "What's wrong, baby?"

Damon pulled his thumb from his mouth, "When can I see Daddy?"

Emma smiled, but they didn't reach her eyes as she cupped Damon's cheek, "Soon, baby. We're just waiting for the doctor to tell us what's wrong with daddy."

Damon nodded and turned his head slightly at the sight of movement to see Marcus walking down the hall towards them. A cup of coffee in one hand and a milkshake in the other and Damon smiled as Marcus leaned down in front of him. "I'm sorry we couldn't finish your birthday, bud but I bought your favorite milkshake."

Damon smiled, taking the milkshake from Marcus's hand and his eyes widened as Marcus was handed a huge box from Pete, "And your daddyvreally wanted to give this to you at the party but everything went south." Marcus sighed as he carefully placed the box on the floor and stopped Damon as he tried to reach for it, "Don't you want to wait to open it with Daddy?" Emma asked with a small smile as she ran her fingers through his blonde hair. Damon shook his head, "Give daddy a big kiss when I see him."

Marcus chuckled, "Okay."

He brought Damon onto his lap and Damon eyed the box with wide eyes as Pete knelt down and lifted the lid of the box and Damon let out a loud squeal as a small head popped out from over the edge of the box and stuck it's tongue out at Damon. Damon looked up at Emma who had a look of surprise on her face before she turned to glare at Marcus, "Why didn't you tell me it was a puppy?"

Marcus rose one of his hands, the other keeping Damon on his lap, "Felix's idea."

Emma sighed before her eyes landed on Damon who held a big smile, "Can I keep it?!"

Emma smiled, leant over and laid her lips on Damon's forehead and sighed, "Anything you want, you get."

Damon seemed to smirk as he jumped off Marcus's lap and jumped towards the box where Morgan was already standing, leaning over the box as he rubbed the puppy's hair, "What's his name?!" Morgan screamed out in excitement before giggling as Dave turned to him wide eyed as a doctor walked past and jumped at the sound of Morgan's voice.

"I wanna see Daddy first!" Damon shouted at as the doctor stepped out from a round corner and Emma immediately stood, her coffee forgotten as she faces the doctor, "How is he?"

"You should sit, I've already spoken with Mrs. Hayden and Mr. Hayden."

Emma turned to Marcus whose face had fell from being told to sit, Emma lifted her hand to her mouth as she choked on a sob and leaned onto Marcus as he joined her side and settled them in a seat. Emma made sure to look for Damon who was playing with his new puppy to notice Emma. She sighed in relief as she turned to the doctor.

"What's going on?"

"Mrs. Valentino, Mr. Hayden had started his treatment late after being informed he was diagnosed with cancer and because of this, his cancer was easily able to spread that when he started treatment, the cancer was still spreading and the treatment weren't killing off the cancer fast enough—"

Emma leaned forward, "So... what does this mean?"

The doctor sighed, "The cancer had spread to his lungs, weakening it. He struggles to breath and it's too close to his heart to remove any of the cancer."

"But you can save him before that?" Emma felt Marcus tighten his hold on Emma as Emma leaned forward, hope driving her to keep asking questions she knew the answer too.

"With the way his breathing, I'll be surprised if he makes it through the night."

Emma gasped and looked towards her lap as she tried to control her breathing, her nose starting to burn as she kept back tears. Marcus decided to speak as Emma leaned back into his chest, "And if he makes it through the night?"

"We either operate if his strong enough, put off his machines and see if he'll make it through or continue to keep him on the machines until he passes."

Marcus nodded as the doctor stood, placing his hand on Marcus's shoulder, "It's best to say your goodbyes before."

Marcus nodded again and turned to Emma who cried into his chest, "He can't die, Marcus. Damon is just—"

Marcus sighed, kissing Emma's forehead, "I know." Marcus slowly rose his eyes, his heart breaking as he watched Damon turn to look towards Emma with wide teary eyes.